Conexus

Busyness...

2011-06-28T10:45:00.004-05:00

Question: So, how are things going?

Answer: Busy.

This is the new common question and answer from me, from friends, from colleagues, from everyone. The common response in the past is to be fine, but now everything is busy. At some point, there was a transitional response that happened from fine to busy. There has been a cultural shift that defined busy was a better term than fine. I think it is a shift in translation that happened in the last three years, since the economy has been hindered. Busy showed that we had work, which too often was a positive answer. But, it needs to end at some point in dialogue with trusted individuals. I say it too much. The truth is that I really am busy most of the time. It can be good, but in many ways I am realizing it also is not.

I am learning that busyness may be my great deterrent to true community. I am busy and many of my friends know that I am busy. What this communicates to my friends is that I don’t have time for them. Friends begin to think that if I am busy, I don’t need them. When you are busy or fine, it is a common answer that says I don’t need you right now. Being busy is a common answer for: "Stay out of my life... I don’t have time for you."

When I am busy, I choose to not engage in community. It is a verbal and chosen time response to friendship. When I am busy, I am actively not inviting others into my life. But, in my head I think that busy is good. In all reality, being busy is selfish.

I know there are times that people really are busy and need to focus on the task at hand to address a given problem. But if we are too busy to engage in relationships, we have a problem. When we respond and tell you we are too busy, too often, we need help. We really need deep relationship, comforting and concern. The result of being extra busy is loneliness and depression. You may not relate with this, but I truly need freedom from being busy. Time is of the essence. If you are not busy, you are setting an example for the rest of us. Please take time to engage people that are too busy. We need you.

Be The Church...

2011-04-15T14:41:00.006-05:00

“We Are The Sermon” Day, or WATS Day, will take place at SoHills this Sunday, April 17. For the seventh straight year, WATS Day will be an opportunity for Christians across the city of Abilene to honor God by providing works-of-service to people in our community living in difficult situations.

WATS Day = the church is leaving the building.

Change...

2011-04-13T11:30:00.007-05:00

I don't know if it's that I like change so much as that I dislike doing the same thing when it's not working.

Leadership Basics...

2011-02-16T08:56:00.009-06:00

1) Be responsible. If you say you are going to take care of it, then take care of it.

2) Be professional. Arrive on time. Actually be early. And be organized.

3) Be the best. Get better every day at what you do.

4) Be humble. Talk less. Listen more.

5) Be proactive. Not reactive. Respond and initiate before being told to, or asked to, by your supervisor or peers.

Sustaining Leadership...

2011-02-04T17:04:00.008-06:00

This insightful quote from Israel Galindo's book Perspectives On Congregational Leadership has deep implications for all of us who desire to be Christ-like leaders:

Here is the heart of what it takes to sustain leadership. We move from the impossible--controlling others--to the merely difficult--managing ourselves.

We can in fact manage ourselves, if we choose to. We cannot control others. But we can offer our point of view, challenge them, and give them room to respond.

Defining The Real Problem...

2011-02-04T16:43:00.006-06:00

I got an iPad recently. And one of the iPad apps I've already found to be quiet useful as a personal brainstorming tool is Whiteboard. I find myself using Whiteboad to think in pictures, and to scribble out a quick thought. Like the following:

Could we be addressing issues, symptoms, reactions… attempting to correct a problem… but the real problem continues to be unaddressed?

Hey Jude Flowchart...

2011-01-21T16:54:00.004-06:00

While listening recently to the Beatles' classic "Hey Jude" on my iPod, I came across this interesting flow chart. Try it out yourself. Cue up "Hey Jude" and stare at the flow chart. Caution: don't get stuck in an infinite loop of "na na na na na na na na na..."

12 Characteristics of A Godly Leader...

2011-01-18T15:20:00.007-06:00

1. Be humble.

2. Be authentic.

3. Be generous.

4. Be Christ-like.

5. Be the best at what you do.

6. Be consistent.

7. Be courageous, willing to go first and take risks.

8. Be honest and trustworthy.

9. Be thankful.

10. Be a learner.

11. Be adaptable and open to change.

12. Be an encourager.

11 Words For 2011...

2011-01-05T16:29:00.006-06:00

Need some inspiration for 2011? Check out these 11 words.

Are you inspired?

Nativity 2.0...

2010-12-25T11:12:00.010-06:00

This interesting video reveals what the birth of Jesus might have looked like if it happened in 2010.

Clever... and makes you think.

Emotional Endurance...

2010-11-02T17:21:00.005-05:00

I'm becoming more convinced that one of the keys to effective leadership is what I would call emotional endurance. If you're going to make it as a leader, you have to have a high threshold for a wide variety of emotions.

Every once in a while, fellow ministers will ask me about the greatest challenge I face in church-world. Frankly, I think it's managing your emotions. You have to manage the fear and the discouragement and the anxiety. If you can't, you won't make it. But if you allow the challenging situations to build emotional endurance, you'll be prepared for even bigger challenges.

One of the things that has helped me deal with criticism and stress is my perspective. I don't particularly like criticism or stress, but I see it as building emotional endurance. And if I'm going to do bigger and better things for God, then I'm going to need more emotional endurance.

What I'm getting at is this: God wants to work in and through our emotions. He wants to build emotional endurance. And that often involves high levels of stress, or criticism, or fear, or discouragement. But if we open ourselves up to God growing us through these circumstances, then we'll become a stronger person emotionally.

One of my most challenging leadership memories is rooted in a ropes' course element described by various names: Pamper Pole, Eagle's Nest, Leap of Faith. Whatever you call it, the essence of this element is: slip on a safety harness, limb to the top of a 30' telephone pole, leap from the pole to a nearby trapeze bar. Sounds simple, right?! It's a good thing I'm 30 feet in the air because I'm usually shaking so bad prior to leaping that my knocking knees are making quite a racket. But I look back at these kind of situations that were clearly outside my comfort zone and they built emotional endurance. I was able to step into a high pressure situation with a little more confidence the next time around.

May God give us thick skin and a soft heart.

Be Good At Something Different...

2010-10-25T05:03:00.007-05:00

In ministry, most churches and leaders try to be good at what everyone else is good at doing. We’re trying to improve our preaching, youth groups, children’s curriculum, worship, campus ministry, etc.

The problem is that we’re not blessed with the same gifts or called to the same types of ministries. Why not give ourselves permission to be good at something that few other churches and leaders are striving to do?

Maybe we can be phenomenal at doing a sports ministry with immigrant kids in local apartment complexes, sponsoring parties for mentally challenged people in your community, or impacting the world through mentoring the next generation of Kingdom leaders. Maybe we’re called to serving our community with radical generosity, doing evangelism through Facebook, or leveraging your wealthy suburban church to support the planting of a church in another city's inner city.

Rather than being good at the usual ministries... what if we attempted to be good at something we’re uniquely positioned to do. Be good at something different!

What is something different you (or your ministry) can do?

Convicted Civility...

2010-10-18T05:41:00.004-05:00

"One of the real problems in modern life is that the people who are good at being civil often lack strong convictions, and people who have strong convictions often lack civility." - Martin Marty

We need both a civil outlook and a "passionate intensity" about our convictions... thus, a "convicted civility."

To Scoot Or Not To Scoot...

2010-10-11T06:03:00.003-05:00

This recent post by Jon Acuff made me laugh. No one casts a more entertaining and knowledgeable eye on church-world than Jon. And as someone who has stood at the microphone and asked people to "Please scoot to the middle," I'm intrigued with the whole scoot or no scoot conversation.

There are two types of people in the world: those who will sit in a seat that’s not theirs at an event and those who won't.

I am in the "won't" category. If I have tickets for the nosebleed section at a concert, that's where I sit. I can't sneak down front and sit in better seats without constantly thinking the rightful owner of that seat is about to show up at any moment. And he's probably an Ultimate Fighter with his concealed weapon permit.

Plus, when you get caught you have to pretend you didn't know you're $10 tickets didn't permit you to sit on the front row. "Wait a second, this is row #1? Let me look at my ticket. Oh, would you look at that! I'm in row #1,000. Simple mistake on my part. Whoops!"

I can't do it. I can't be that guy, which is why I like the seating arrangement at most churches. No one has a ticket. Each Sunday morning is a seat free for all. And it all comes to a head when one of the ministers or elders says one thing:

"Please scoot to the middle so people who just got here can squeeze in."

But every time I hear that phrase three things go through my head:

1. The scoot rewards bad behavior.

I got here early. I've got the end of the aisle on lockdown. If I scoot, people who come late are going to be rewarded for their late behavior. Like a hamster receiving a delicious nut when it presses a lever, they'll associate lateness with primo end of aisle seating. That's perpetuating bad behavior.

2. Can we all vote on a better word than "scoot"?

"Scoot" sounds like a cartoon, make-em up word from Ponyville, the home of My Little Pony. That's a word I want Papa Smurf saying, not one of my church's leaders. I say we change scoot, to "slide." That sounds cool and almost like a hip hop move or a wedding dance that your crazy Aunt always does at the reception.

3. Is this a Boundaries moment?

In their book, "Boundaries," Cloud and Townsend detail healthy boundaries we all need to draw in our lives when it comes to personal relationships and the way we let people treat us. Is there anyway that when someone comes to my aisle and tries to get me to slide, I can just say, "Sorry dude, boundaries?"

4. This is the only place on the planet where the scoot works.

Try to get someone to scoot at a high school football game. Or in a Starbucks. With your coffee and a smile, just walk up to a hip couch and say to a stranger, "Will you please scoot to the middle?" That probably won't be awkward.

5. Can I rescoot if no one comes?

If I do scoot and no one comes, can I rescoot or descoot and claim my previously surrender seat territory? Does that make someone I scooted next to in the middle feel smelly? It's not that they're smelly, they might be wearing Coolwater cologne for all I know, but I like I little space between me and the next guy, a "Baptist buffer" if you will. Can I rescoot?

Fortunately, you are not like me. You will not think these things in church. You do not spend moments of your life thinking about the consequences of "scooting." I'm proud of you, I really am.

But be honest, do you scoot when called upon to scoot?

How Should A Christian Respond To Bad Customer Service...

2010-10-04T05:48:00.003-05:00

Ron Edmondson got me thinking about a Christian's example in the marketplace with this recent post. Should Christ-followers complain about bad customer service, or accept whatever kind of service we receive with a smile?

As a former business owner, I am a huge proponent for treating a customer well. I don’t know that I would say the customer is always right, but the goal should certainly be that they leave feeling good about their experience. Customer service is the front door of any business (or church). Because of that, I tip well, I express appreciation and I always have a desire to make the waiter or waitresses day better, not worse than before I came. I want to encourage and reward good service and I realize that there could always be personal reasons why a person gives bad service on a particular day. I am always perplexed, however, as to the way to respond when I receive bad service.

One night this week, my small group ate together at a local restaurant. From our first encounter, we knew our waiter did not want to be there. He was obviously impatient and snappy with his responses. It wasn’t the worst customer service I’ve ever received, but it was obviously not one of the best. When a large group recognizes the tension in a waiter, it’s probably a good indicator that service is less than excellent. It reminded me, especially with the pressure of my small group around me, that I don’t always know how to respond.

What kind of customer should a Christian be?

Do Christians have a right to complain when their service is bad?

If the waiter or waitress is rude, do we turn the other cheek, or speak the truth in love? Do you tip for bad service and for good? Do you talk to the manager?

How do you respond to bad service... whether it be a restaurant server, your dentist, a customer service representative at a local store, or the person on the other end of the line when you dial a company's customer service department?

No One Cares About Your Church...

2010-09-27T05:39:00.003-05:00

Tim Schraeder shared the following thoughts recently. I can't say that I agree with everything Tim writes, or that I would have said this exactly the way he did. But Tim made me think. And I'm thinking it's a good thing when people make us think about what it means to be church.

I'm sorry to say it so harshly but it's true... no one cares about your church.

Look at recent polls, church attendance, or even watch the news and it's fairly obvious... people don't care about the church or what we have to say anymore. We've lost credibility for some legitimate reasons. And don't chalk me up to being a church-basher, I passionately care about the church, I'm just saying what's true and what some of us might not want to admit.

The church has moved from the center of our Western culture and while some fight to keep it in the public square others of us are realizing the greatest way we can impact culture is by being on the periphery.

Christianity at its core has always been about counter-cultural, so why in the world do we try to be perceived as being relevant by looking just like the culture around us?

We've cheapened the Gospel by trying to be accepted at a great cost. The emerging generation can see right through the charade. We've created a machine out of what was always meant to be a movement. We've organized something that was meant to be organic. We've franchised something that was meant to be localized. We've put CEOs in the seats of what was meant to be a spiritual office and treated salvation like a commodity. We made an idol out of our methods.

And to try and fix everything we've thought marketing it to look like a cheap version of everything else in culture was a good idea.

Here's two truths: people don't like the church and people don't trust advertising. Why use a mechanism people don't trust to promote something they don't care about?

I'm not trying to paint a picture of gloom and doom, I am just saying it how it is. I have great hope for the Church and believe that it does matter and believe the church has a great future ahead of it... we've just got to make some adjustments.

I think we have a great new opportunity to reintroduce Jesus, the Gospel and the church to a world and culture that has been weary of what they've seen and heard.

The next generation is tired of gimmicks they want something real and authentic. They want to be known. They want community. They want a sense of belonging. They want to be a part of something that is bigger than themselves. They want to be significant. They want to be a part of the Church they read about in Acts but have only seen poor reflections of in today's world.

More than anything they want to give themselves to cause that is greater than they are. Why do you think movements like TOMS Shoes, To Write Love on Her Arms, LIVESTRONG, charity: water, the one campaign or any of the big social movements that are out there today exist and have so much popularity?

They are all doing great work and doing tremendous good, yes. But they are telling a compelling story. They are giving people the opportunity to make a difference. They give people the chance to do something that matters. They are sadly, doing the work the church has been neglecting.

When you really care about what people care about, things happen.

When churches rally around the needs of their communities and are actually outward focused, truly living for something outside of themselves, that's when change happens and that is when the church matters in culture.

To truly care about the things that matter to people is to truly live out the Gospel. God is all about people. And what matters to people matters to God.

We've been too focused on ourselves, our numbers, our growth, our success, and at the expense of a generation that's looking for a cause to believe in and give themselves to.

I can't think of a better cause to give my life to than the cause of the local church and I think while we live in a culture that doesn't care about church we have an amazing opportunity to redefine what church means and what it means to be a follower of Christ.

When we sing or pray the words break my heart for what breaks Yours, we are really asking God to allow us the opportunity to see the world through His eyes.

We'll never earn the right to be heard in culture by screaming on street corners or by having a slick ad campaign. We earn the right to be heard by caring about the things that people care about and ultimately the things the move the heart of God.

Stop trying to promote and market your church. It hasn't been working and it won't. Stop trying to make people care about something they've already decided isn't worth their time or attention.

Start listening. Start looking around you. Listen to the cries of people in your community and start responding with the love of Christ. See through His eyes. Earn the right to be heard. Be Jesus hands and feet. Do good. Care about what people care about. Be Jesus and the church to your community.

The church isn't an organization or a building, it's people.

When you truly care about what people care about and prove it, people will care about you and what you have to say.

Church Is Not A Building...

2010-09-24T15:56:00.007-05:00

Church is not a building. Church is not an event that takes place only on Sundays. But listen to our language:

"I go to First Church."

"We are members at Second Church."

"Is it time to go to church?"

Church as a building is never how the Bible uses the term. When the Bible talks about church, it means community. The little fellowships of the heart that are outposts of the Kingdom. A shared life. They worship together, eat together, pray for one another, go on quests together. They hang out together, in each others' homes. When Peter is sprung from prison, "He went to the house of Mary the mother of John where many people had gathered and were praying." (Acts 12:12)

Any time an army goes to war or an expedition takes to the field, it breaks down into little platoons and squads. And every chronicle of war or quest will tell you that the men and women who fought so bravely fought for each other. That's where the acts of heroism and sacrifice take place, because that's where the devotion is. You simply can't be devoted to a mass of people; devotion takes place in small units, just like a family.

We have stopped short of being an organization; we are an organism instead, a living and spontaneous association of individuals who know one another intimately, care for each other deeply, and feel a kind of respect for one another that makes rules and bylaws unnecessary. A group is the right size, I would guess, when each member can pray for every other member, individually and by name.

This is the wisdom of Brother Andrew, who smuggled Bibles into communist countries for decades. It's the model, frankly, of the church in nearly every country but the U.S. Now, I'm not suggesting you don't do whatever it is you do on Sunday mornings. I'm simply helping you accept reality - that whatever else you do, you must have a small fellowship to walk with you and fight with you and bandage your wounds.

Church is not a building.

The Majestic Plastic Bag...

2010-09-21T16:40:00.010-05:00

What's not to like about this mockumentary?

I'm pretty sure I saw this curious creature in my yard recently.

Be Unreasonable...

2010-09-19T15:02:00.013-05:00

I found this recent post by Craig Groeschel to be, well... unreasonable, and convicting.

I bet you have heard this many times… "Be reasonable."

Truthfully, under many circumstances, "Be reasonable" is sound advice—but not always.

As Christians, there are times to be unreasonable.

- When you pray, you might ask God to do something most consider impossible or unreasonable. Pray unreasonable prayers.

- When you seek God, He might lead you to do something others consider undoable. Empowered by God, do unreasonable things.

- When you lead, some people might think you’re making unreasonable demand. Lead passionately and pull unreasonable results out of reasonable people.

Being unreasonable all the time would certainly be a mistake. But if you aren’t being unreasonable every now and then, you probably aren't being led by faith.

My Friend Charlie...

2010-09-10T15:14:00.011-05:00

I learned yesterday that my friend, Charlie Walton, has ALS. ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis), also known as Lou Gehrig's disease, is a progressive and degenerative disease that attacks the nerve cells controlling voluntary muscle movement. There is no cure for ALS.

Charlie paid his bills as a writer. But when he wasn't word mongering (that's how he described himself), Charlie invested time as a mentor and friend in younger people like me. In fact, for almost two years... Charlie, Don Davis and I met every Wednesday for lunch to enjoy a three vegetable special, bad jokes and Charlie's wisdom.

Like I said, Charlie was a writer. He was also well acquainted with grief. Life had dealt Charlie some tough hands. And yet Charlie allowed his personal journey through the valley of the shadow of death to serve as a guide for others walking that path. I've given Charlie's book, When There Are No Words, to grieving parents and children... and allowed Charlie to do what he does best, be available if you need him.

I'm confident Charlie is facing ALS with the same deep faith and trust in God he reflected in his book, Packing For The Big Trip. Humor has always been one of Charlie's greatest gifts... he could turn a phrase and make you smile quicker than anyone I've ever met.

As I sat thinking about my friend this morning, I paged through another of Charlie's books: Laying It On The Line With God. Here's one of his prayers in this book Charlie lets us listen in on:

This body, Father, is so much in the way when I try to concentrate on you. I really like my body... Your design is wonderful and testifies to your divinity. But I am so attached to it that its aches and pains and positions get in the way of my communication with you. Help me to grow and mature, Father, to lessen the hold that my physical body has over my spiritual self. Get me ready for the brand new body you have promised. I can't wait to put it on, Lord. -- Charlie

Thank you, Charlie, for helping me see God's smile more clearly.

Ready Or Not...

2010-08-31T15:55:00.011-05:00

I recently walked into a restaurant very early in the lunch hour. Looking around the room I saw... well, nothing. Lots of open tables. But still I was told "give me just a couple of minutes and we'll have a table for you." I could see at least 100 seating options... but still I waited.

As I sat down I wiped bread crumbs from the table into the floor and thought "This doesn't make sense. There's no way there have been other customers in here for lunch already." Of course, the crumbs had to have been left over from the night before... which meant the tables hadn't been wiped off. I then learned that the tea was still brewing and the rolls were not warm enough to serve yet.

The bottom-line: The restaurant and its staff were not ready for me. They weren't expecting customers... at least, not a customer arriving as early as I did.

I'm thinking there's a pretty solid application here to church? Is it apparent that when we open the doors of our church buildings we are expecting new people? Here are some simple ways to communicate "Welcome! We've been expecting you!"

+ Leave the most convenient parking spaces for guests.

+ Move to the center of the row, leaving the aisle seats open.

+ Greet people around you... even if you're not an "official" greeter.

When a church's guests show up will they think: "Yikes! I've crashed a party I wasn't invited to attend." Or will it be: "Wow! They act like they are expecting me... and they seem glad I'm here."

Putting A Lid On Gossip...

2010-08-27T08:29:00.007-05:00

Ron Edmondson had a great post recently regarding seven suggestions for putting a stop to gossip. Knowing how destructive gossip can be in lives and relationships, I felt Ron's thoughts were worth repeating.

In my job, I hear far more junk than I care to hear. The larger our church gets, the more mess we encounter among the people to whom we minister. We have designed our church to reach hurting people, so we are simply reaching our target audience, but some days it is more difficult than others to hear such sad stories.

One part of the drama of messiness that always frustrates me is how gossip begins about other people’s problems. As if dealing with the consequences of sin is not enough, many times some of the hardest repercussion is the gossip that occurs about the people involved and the situation that occurred. I have been the victim of unfair gossip and I know the pain it can cause. I have never found gossip to be helpful to the people involved or to the Kingdom of God. I have literally become a hater of gossip because I have seen it destroy so many people! Gossip hurts innocent people who are caught in the middle, it exaggerates the situation, and it keeps the one who did wrong loaded with guilt and frustration, and from experiencing the fullness of God’s grace. (Consider these passages: Proverbs 11:13, Proverbs 16:28, Proverbs 20:19, Proverbs 26:20, Romans 1:29, 2 Corinthians 12:20, 1 Timothy 5:13... the Bible talks a great deal about this...)

With that in mind, here are seven suggestions for how to stop, or at least slow, the spread of gossip. Will you consider each and take them personal? If the shoe fits will you wear it? Together, perhaps we can help stop the deadly spread of this harmful virus!

1) Don’t repeat something you don’t know is true firsthand... secondhand knowledge is not enough to justify repeating. You will get something wrong and it will hurt others.

2) Don’t repeat unless its helpful to do so and you have a vested interest in the situation, the people involved, and permission to share... doing so in the name of a prayer request is not a good excuse...

3) Don’t “confess” other people’s sins. Even if the wrong included you and you feel the need to confess, share your story, but not someone else's.

4) If you must tell, and have passed the test on the first three suggestions, tell only what happened and not your commentary or "I think this is probably what happened" or why you think it happened...

5) Choose to pray for others every time you are tempted to tell their story... instead of telling their story...

6) When someone tells you something you don’t need to know, don’t allow curiosity to be your guide... follow your heart. Stop the person and tell them you don’t want to know! Remember, if they will spread gossip about others they will spread it about you!

7) Keep the circle of confession limited to the people involved or to no more than needed for accountability purposes. The wider the circle and the more the story is repeated the more likely things will turn into gossip.

If my tone seems intent it’s because I am. I have little patience for gossips. My desire is to see people who live in holy and healthy community together. Gossip is a betrayer of this becoming reality.

Five Years After Hurricane Katrina...

2010-08-24T19:07:00.010-05:00

This Sunday, August 29, is my sweet wife's birthday. It will be a day of celebration!

Sunday will also mark the 5th anniversary of Hurricane Katrina making landfall on the Gulf Coast. And five years after Katrina there will also be cause for celebration.

Realizing that a huge swath of Mississippi and Louisiana felt the devastating effects of Katrina, the Storm (as its come to be know) had a personal effect on me due to my ties to the city of New Orleans. While growing up I had lived in the city for five years, and as a youth minister in Atlanta I'd led several mission teams to New Orleans over a period of several years to serve alongside the Carrollton Avenue church. Additionally, some of our my dearest friends live in New Orleans.

Therefore, when the news reports five years ago began to describe the catastrophe that had befallen New Orleans, I felt a heavy heart-tug toward the city and its residents. I've told people that when my family moved from New Orleans I was ready to leave the city-- I had fallen out of love with New Orleans. But seeing the images of the devastation the Storm had wrought on the city... well, for me it was like seeing a crazy relative you didn't particularly like sprawled on the floor after taking a nasty fall. Your heart aches for them, and you see them in a very different way. The Storm helped me rediscover my love for New Orleans.

Now, five years after the Storm, my love affair with the city and its people has blossomed. And a big part of that heart revival on my part has been spurred by the Carrollton Avenue church and its resurgence.

I remain deeply grateful that my elders at Southern Hills immediately responded to the devastation Katrina wracked on New Orleans by making a two-year commitment to stand alongside Carrollton Avenue church in providing resources... reflecting both people and financial support. I'm especially indebted to the many ACU students who've traveled with me to New Orleans over the past five years, and who've served the people of the city so selflessly.

And I celebrate, five years after the Storm, the rebirth and revival of the Carrollton Avenue church... and its offspring, the Holly Grove church. Hurricane Katrina wrecked a church building, but God re-built a church in New Orleans. I've been overwhelmed by both the faith of the Carrollton Avenue church, and even more so by the faithfulness of God. Great things have been done in that city... and great things are still to be done.

So... this Sunday, as I celebrate sweet Susan's birthday, I'll be celebrating another anniversary. And both will indeed be celebrations, for both have been to me great gifts from our good God!

Baptizing vs. Making Followers...

2010-08-19T09:12:00.010-05:00

Having grown up within the faith tradition of Churches of Christ, I've been nurtured on the imperative to teach people about Jesus and to rejoice as they seal that relationship with him in the waters of baptism. I believe that imperative is biblical and fundamental to our living as Christ-followers.

What gives me pause is my sense that we often feel (or act) as if our responsibility has ended when the new Christian steps dripping out of the waters of baptism. Walking alongside the newly minted believer, encouraging them in their walk with Jesus... especially as they encounter the inevitable bumps on the road of that journey, and continuing to mentor and teach them--well, that's hard work. And it involves significant commitment on the part of older, more mature Christian brothers and sisters.

It's been my observation we consider this "disciple making" will somehow happen routinely in the on-going of the new believer's relationship with church. But from my vantage point over the several years I've spent in church world, this often doesn't happen.

More often than not, when we leave baby Christ-followers to fend for themselves, they don't fend very well. And before too many months have passed, many of these new Christians who are still noted in the church's statistical record have been reclaimed by the world.

The bottom line: we are called not just to baptize people, but to walk alongside them and help them grow into followers/disciples of Jesus. Isn't that the Kingdom imperative Jesus is commissioning us with in Matthew: 28:19-20?

"So go and make followers of all people in the world. Baptize them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach them to obey everything that I have taught you..."

Don't misunderstand... I'm not suggesting we stop baptizing people. I'm just referencing the words of Jesus and being re-convicted that he is calling us to more than just getting people into the water of baptism. Jesus expects us to commit to the long walk of disciple-making as new believers step out of the water and back into the world.

Visual Poetry...

2010-08-16T19:44:00.003-05:00

Every picture paints a word... and every word paints a picture.

Some Things Seem Obvious...

2010-08-15T14:45:00.004-05:00

Maybe it's just me... but I thought driving a car and keeping one's eyes open went together like peanut butter and jelly. Apparently, the folks who felt the need for this sign do not see things that way.

Twenty Five Hours...

2010-08-11T10:35:00.008-05:00

I borrowed much of this post from Pete Wilson... editing Pete's words to better fit my current season of life.

Does anyone else feel like they need just one more hour in the day?

Ever wish that there were more hours in a day and more days in a week? I’m sure you know the feeling. I sure do.

It astonishes me how quickly time passes and I’m often left wondering, "Where did that day go?"

I've found myself recently, on more than one occasion, telling different people in my life "I wish I just had one more hour in my day."

So I thought it would be fun to ask you: "If you had one extra hour every day... how would you spend it?"

Me? Easy. I would clean out our backyard pond every day. (Just kidding.)

With one extra hour I would invest it in my relationship with Susan. I’m blown away by how many changes we're dealing with at the moment, and all that we've got going on. I’m in one of the busiest seasons of my life and I just don’t want to shortchange the investment I want to be making in my wife, the love of my life. That’s what I would do with my extra hour.

So... what would you do with your extra hour?

Permanent Solutions To Temporary Problems...

2010-08-04T10:33:00.007-05:00

I was challenged by this passage and the wisdom behind it from a recent post by Todd Henry:

"The more structures we have to navigate in order to do our work, the more difficult it is to do our best work. When we are required to resolve the dissonance of complex systems, reporting relationships and accountability structures just in order to get our objectives and check off our direction we will begin to lose our drive to do brilliant work. Over time, this complexity only pulls entire organizations toward systematic mediocrity."

An African Wedding In West Texas...

2010-07-30T15:12:00.002-05:00

Linda Bailey wrote the following article for ACU's on-line edition of The Optimist. Linda does a great job of capturing the wonderful spirit of hospitality, love and family that flowed throughout the weekend of Serge and Esperance's wedding. Katie Lea is missing from the picture (above) that ran with the article because she was looking for an umbrella to shade us from the sun.

The gymnasium at South Side Baptist Church was transformed into an African village on Friday afternoon, the first day of the traditional African wedding ceremony of ACU student Serge Gasore to Esperance Namuseke Gasore.

The entire wedding spanned two days and incorporated both American and African traditions.

In August 2005, Serge came to ACU from Rwanda to study and run track and cross-country. Now in graduate school, Serge is studying global information technology. Esperance will attend Cisco College in the fall. Originally from the Congo, she and her family later fled to Rwanda. Two years ago, the family moved to Abilene as refugees.

Serge wanted to have the wedding in Africa, but Esperance’s family thought it would be best to for the couple to travel back to Africa only after they were married. To keep everyone happy, Serge agreed to have a traditional African wedding ceremony in Abilene.

"I love her so much so I said I’ll do everything I would do back home," Serge said.

He said they will move back to Rwanda in two years after he finishes his schooling in the U.S.

Serge's father wasn’t able to make the trip to the U.S. for the wedding, but his aunt traveled to Abilene from Rwanda. An uncle and a close friend, both originally from Rwanda but living in Haiti, were also able to join Serge’s other family and friends for the wedding ceremonies.

On Friday, the two-day wedding began with a dowry ceremony. Caroline Conwell, senior business management major at ACU, said this is traditionally the most important ceremony in the entire wedding. It is during this ceremony that the bride’s family officially gives her to the groom, Conwell said. Through a series of role-plays, the two families barter for the bride. Serge’s family gave the Namuseke family 12 cows as a dowry.

Conwell’s family has known Serge for about five years. Serge spent a lot of time with the Conwells during summer vacations and holidays because he couldn’t make the long trip home. He eventually became part of the family, Conwell said. Because of their close relationship, the Conwells attended the ceremony as part of Serge’s family.

The dowry ceremony was performed primarily in Kinyarwanda, a tribal African language. A translator was present to translate both the words and traditions to English speakers. Participants in the ceremony wore mostly traditional African apparel, but some of men wore more western-looking suits.

It wasn't until the end of the ceremony that Serge finally saw his fiancée. After Esperance's family had officially given the couple permission to be married, four female dancers, several children and a group of girls walked into the middle of the aisle. The girls surrounded Esperance as she sat in a chair, then moved out of the way to let Serge greet his bride. She gave him a traditional headband, and the couple sat at the end of the aisle. The ceremony concluded with a traditional African meal for everyone in attendance.

On Saturday afternoon, the wedding took an American turn when the couple was married at Southern Hills Church of Christ in a short ceremony complete with tuxes, bridesmaids, groomsmen, and an elegant white dress. The American customs continued during an afternoon reception at Southern Hills following the ceremony. The reception included hamburgers, hot dogs, chips, and a tiered wedding cake complete with a bride and groom cake topper.

"I like the way America does their things, and that’s why I’m going to do a little bit American, and I like the way they do it back home. It's kind of like half-half," Serge said. "When you read a book about communication, you have to adapt to that culture to be able to be in both cultures."

After several speeches and a few traditional African dances by Friday’s four female dancers, the party moved to the 6th Street Center in downtown Abilene.

At the beginning of the reception downtown, guests entered the dimly lit room in single file carrying gifts for the bride and groom. Traditionally, the bride's family leaves near the beginning of the ceremony to tell their village about the wedding. In keeping with tradition, Serge’s family escorted the Esperance's family out of the reception. After a quick outfit change, Serge and Esperance rejoined the party, where family members and guests of all ages danced to traditional African music to celebrate the newest addition to Gasore family.

"My favorite thing was the dancing on Saturday night," Conwell said. "The celebration was just so fun and everything was just so different from American culture. You could tell it was a celebration of them coming together and the families were so excited."

Even after the weekend’s celebrations, the ceremony isn't quite finished. When he and Esperance move back to Rwanda in two years, Serge said, there will be another ceremony to introduce Esperance as his wife.

New Or Old Evangelism...

2010-07-26T06:02:00.002-05:00

An article in USA Today’s “Faith & Reason” section caught my eye recently. The article was titled "Believers Reluctant to Evangelize Family or Friends." The article's author, Cathy Lynn Grossman, makes two very challenging observations:

+ Churches are not creating new believers, they are just attracting more Christians.

+ Becoming a parent does not change attitudes toward spirituality– which reverses the assumption that once couples become parents they are more likely to become part of a church.

Grossman concludes that what she calls the "bait and switch" evangelism technique is ineffective, and Christians need to find a new, or better, way to share their faith with friends and family (to clarify, Grossman would describe "bait and switch" tactics as things like inviting your neighbor to a social gathering–without telling her you’re going to present the Gospel).

A self-described "recovering evangelical" Jim Henderson, shares an alternative. Are you ready for this?

"…get to know people, become their friends and let the spiritual chips fall where they may."

Call me crazy, but I don't think there’s anything new about this kind of evangelism. In fact, it would be more accurate to call it the Old Evangelism. As I look through the Gospels, I see Jesus getting to know people like Zacchaeus, the Samaritan woman, Martha, Mary and Lazarus... not to mention his disciples, and meeting their relational and spiritual needs.

On the other side of the coin, Jesus, Peter and Paul preached evangelical messages to large crowds. So, I don’t think we can say there’s only one right way to evangelize. I just don’t want to let friendship become an excuse for not telling someone about Jesus. Likewise, I don’t want any kind of "come-to Jesus" strategies to sabotage a relationship.

What do you think? Do we need a new or old evangelism? Do we just live our beliefs and hope people get it? Or do we lay out the "Five Finger Plan of Salvation" for our friends and family? What has experience taught you?

Every Little Step Counts...

2010-07-22T17:07:00.006-05:00

The following post by Joel J. Miller offered me in the midst of a crazy busy day some much needed perspective. Read Joel's words and be encouraged.

In movies the hero runs headlong up against a problem, something that threatens his peace, safety, and happiness. If the screenwriter is at all talented, we quickly sympathize. We have troubles of our own, after all, and our sympathy and identification increase as the story intensifies. Every twist and turn of the plot worsens our hero’s position to the problem until, when all appears most dire, he finally prevails. The problem is resolved and peace, safety, and happiness are restored. The hero triumphs. All is well. We breathe easy.

It's a hopeful and satisfying formula. It presents a picture of life that has certain, limited conflicts that can be definitively overcome, in which there’s real justice, real healing, real finality to evil and toil and trouble. That's what we want. We pine for that point when we no longer have to struggle against the myriad besetting troubles of the day, when we can cease worrying and stressing and striving. We crave that singular, momentous victory at the close of Act 3 which rescues all of our imperiled peace, safety, and happiness, when we triumph, all is well, and we can breathe easy.

Pardon the moment of negativity, but real life is snickering. There are no certain, limited conflicts that can be definitively overcome. There are untold millions of them, one after another, several all at once. And no matter what you do, they just keep coming. If you make your numbers in July, you have to do it again in August and September and October. If you take superlative care of Customer A, Customers B, C, D, E, F, and G are waiting on hold, annoyed by the music, and wondering why you haven’t helped them yet. Meanwhile you've got bills to pay, discipline issues with the kids, a spouse who feels neglected or exhausted or restless or bored or all of the above.

There is good news coming, but hang with me here a bit longer. The illusion of the formula is doubly problematic when it affects our spiritual life, when we think that we will at some point (hopefully in the very near future) reach a place of total peace without struggle, of quickly answered prayer, effortless worship, sunbeams, and butterflies. The truth is that the Christian life is marked by crosses, by thorns in the side, by sacrifice. There's a reason that historically, traditionally, our heroes are all martyrs, men and women famous not for taking up their winnings but laying down their lives.

Real life—physical, spiritual, everything—is composed of innumerable, endless challenges. John Bunyan's analogy works because it's true to life. Christian didn't get beamed to the Celestial City. The story is the journey, not the end. And our personal pilgrim's progress is no different.

Philip of Neri said it well: “One should not wish to become a saint in four days but step by step.”

The steps imply work. They also imply patience. It's going to take time and attention. It’s going to take involvement in the little things, work in the small corners of our lives. We're not going to slay a few dragons and then settle down. There are always more dragons.

All of those frustrations in work and personal life, family and faith, wherever we confront them, are part of our sanctification. They are part of our journey toward holiness. They are the steps we trod. The wonderful truth hidden in this realization is that every little thing greatly matters. It all has significance, the deadlines, the soccer practice, traffic tickets, marriage conflicts, skinned knees, oil changes, all of it. We don't need to experience a singular, defining triumph to win in life. We’re not going to get one anyway. We are given a million little steps that bring us closer to God.

"Take this thorn from me," says Paul.

"Leave it be," says God. "It’s enough that you have my grace."

The deeper hope we can take away from the classic movie formula is that there really is an end, a victory, a Celestial City, an eschaton in which all the foes are turned into friends or turned to their judgment. But while we take hope in that final triumph, our days are filled with little steps. I pray for enough grace to give thanks for each one.

New Device Desirable, Old Device Undesirable...

2010-07-20T14:39:00.008-05:00

This tongue-in-cheek "news" article by the clever folks at The Onion made me smile... and cringe... and think... as it thumped me on some of my consumeristic tendencies.

With the recent introduction of the latest technology, millions of consumers proceeded to their nearest commercial centers in hopes of acquiring the latest, and therefore most desirable, personal device.

"The new device is an improvement over the old device, making it more attractive for purchase by all Americans," said Thomas Wakefield, a spokesperson for the large conglomerate that manufactures the new device. "The old device is no longer sufficient. Consumers should no longer have any use or longing for the old device."

Added Wakefield, "The new device will retail for $395."

Able to remain operational for longer periods of time and occupy a demonstrably smaller three-dimensional space, the new device is so advanced when compared to the old device that it makes the old device appear much older than it actually is. However, the new device is reportedly not so radically different as to cause confusion or unwanted anxiety among those familiar with the feel of the old device.

"Its higher price indicates to me that it is superior, and that not everyone will be able to afford it, which only makes me want to possess it more," said Tim Sturges, owner of the old device, which he obtained 18 months ago when it was still the new device. "I feel a strong urge to purchase the new device. Owning the new device will please me and improve my daily life."

"It's difficult to remember how I ever found enjoyment in my old device," Sturges continued. "It is no longer appealing to the eye."

In addition to aesthetic and technological enhancements, manufacturers claim the new device comes equipped with a wide range of desirable features, including fewer buttons for pressing down and holding; a new wire for connecting to larger, less-portable devices; and fewer device-related errors and frustrations.

The new device will also be available in blue.

"Not only will I be able to perform tasks faster than before, but my new device will also inform those around me that I am a successful individual who is up on the latest trends," said Rebecca Hodge, whose executive job allowed her to line up for several hours in the middle of the day in order to obtain the previously unavailable item. "Its attractiveness and considerable value are, by extension, my attractiveness and considerable value."

Consumer Robert Larson agreed. "I'm going to take my new device wherever I go," said Larson, holding the expensive item directly in the eyeline of several reporters. "That way no one on the street, inside the elevator, or at my place of business will ever mistake me for the sort of individual who does not own the new device."

Added Larson, "The new device brings me satisfaction."

Despite the visible excitement among most consumers, some claimed to be exercising caution, choosing instead to sit back and wait for a newer version of the new device to be released before making a purchase.

"True, it appeals to my most basic insecurities, but this new device will ultimately be replaced by a newer device, rendering it completely undesirable and utterly repellent to my personal tastes," device-enthusiast Ryan Janosch said. "Also, I should start saving my money for the next latest device, which will replace the newer new device a couple months after that."

Non-Manipulative Intentionality...

2010-07-13T19:59:00.007-05:00

Several months ago I read an intriguing book titled, "The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner’s Semester at America’s Holiest University" by Kevin Roose. Roose was a freshman at Brown University who transferred to Liberty University for a semester to "observe evangelical Christians." It was a fascinating read.

After reading "The Unlikely Disciple," I came across a book by Jim Henderson called "Evangelism Without Additives: What if Sharing Your Faith Meant Just Being Yourself?" Henderson uses a phrase in his book that stuck with me, especially after reading Kevin Roose’s book. Henderson said that what Christians need to become better at is "non-manipulative intentionality." What a great phrase!

I'm thinking what Henderson meant could be summed up in how we would answer this question if asked by a friend: "If I don’t become a Christian, can we still be friends?"

To some degree, I think Christians, me included, have loved our doctrine more than we have loved people. Non-manipulative intentionality requires us to love people, and not think of them or ourselves as failures if they don't become Christians.

It doesn't mean we stop praying. It doesn't mean we water down our beliefs.

It does mean we love them by intentionally being their friend, first and foremost.

How have you answered a question like this with your friends who aren't Christians? And how can we become better at non-manipulative intentionality?

The 2010 NOLA "Let's Go!" Team...

2010-07-01T08:11:00.003-05:00

Here's the official team picture of the 2010 NOLA "Let's Go!" team (minus the two team members who were in the restroom when the official team photo was being taken). It was a privilege and blessing serve alongside this talented group of Christ-followers.

Underpromising...

2010-06-30T14:06:00.000-05:00

Here's a great post by Tom Shefchunas that challenged me as a leader.

I was once told that a definition of leadership was "letting people down at a rate that they can stand." In some ways I get that. I think there is a bit more to it but… for sure… one of my jobs as a leader is saying “no.” I say it all the time.

Here’s my problem... I love saying "yes." I'm still a people pleaser.

And, though I say "yes" too often, I still say "no" all the time for various reasons.

Most of the time it’s not that the idea wasn't any good…though that happens.

It’s not that we don't have the budget… though that happens.

It’s not that I simply don’t want to do that… though that happens too… just ask my staff.

Most of the time when I say "no" it is simply a "trust" issue.

And that is not what you think it is either. It’s not that I don’t "trust" the person or the idea…

It’s that I want to be trusted…

I want to run a department that is trusted…

I want to be a person that is trusted.

Here's my tension – I want to be trustworthy and I want to please people.

Here's my hard truth – I can’t do both.

I simply have too many people making requests of me. If I say "yes" to all… I'm lying to somebody.

Part of being trustworthy is being worthy of trust.

Being trustworthy does not mean your perfect. It does mean that you do what you say your going to do, and when you don’t, you "own it." There’s a slight addition to this though... you ready?

Don’t be the guy who constantly has to "own it." When you constantly don’t come through, even though you admit it… you’re still not trustworthy.

So, the next time someone asks for something that is too much, fight the urge to say "yes" to please the person. You are really making a choice between disappointing someone and losing trust with someone.

It is better to disappoint than to lose trust. A good leader under promises... all the time!

Vampires & Surgeons...

2010-06-28T11:25:00.002-05:00

I thought this was an imaginative and insightful post by Brett Trapp. Lots to think about is this parable.

Our life is a story of growth. From diapers to school naps to multiplication tables and so on. Under the cupped hands of school and family, we bloom. We grow. We grow up.

But along the way, we bump up against vampires.

Vampires—negative people intent on draining us of life, hope and optimism. They’re the bully in the gym, the gossip in the girls’ bathroom, the soured-on-life co-worker. Vampires come and they go, but they never really go away. They move with us, lurking from lifestage to lifestage. Sometimes disguised as friends and even family, they stand in the shadows of our greatest moments—arms crossed, jealous toe tapping. And when our shining moment fades and the lights dim, they track us down in the parking lot, only to remind us of our pimples, hiccups, and scars.

And these vampires do real damage. Their words stick, clinging to our souls and thrashing around in our minds months and years and decades later.

And then one day we meet a cheerleader. Ahh… the anti-vampire. Her face is warm. She’s cute and has a pony-tail. Her words soothe, encourage, affirm. She’s our 5th grade teacher, or a smiling face from church, or college buddy who loves life. The cheerleaders of life tell us everything we want to believe about ourselves. That we’re good-looking and funny and that we smell good. Not only are they present during our shining moments, they’re actually the ones helping create them, toe-touching and fist-pumping us the whole time.

But there’s a third player—the surgeon. And he’s the difference-maker.

The surgeon is one part vampire, cutting and hacking and slinging blood. And he’s one part cheerleader, nourishing pallid souls back to health. He recognizes the ills of life and offers to help. He seats us on the hospital table with the crinkly paper, finds the hidden tumors, and goes to work. He doesn’t just dice and slice—for this would make him only a butcher. He also administers blood during the procedure. He identifies and fixes what we don’t need, and gives us more of what we do need.

And, like vampires, surgeons are scary. Dark eyes peering over a surgical mask, scalpel in hand. Oh, that scalpel–his instrument of pain! But the surgeon, in all of his blood-soaked horror, has a noble calling. Like a vampire, he wounds. But he wounds to heal. He cuts to fix. He injures to revive. While the vampire is our enemy, the surgeon is our friend...

“Wounds from a friend can be trusted.” – Ancient proverb

Most of us spend a lifetime running from vampires and running towards cheerleaders—avoiding pain and chasing after people who make us feel good. We resist the call of the surgeon, the call of the mentor. Because in the wounding there is pain (and we are biologically programmed to resist pain). But the wounding is the hallmark of a good mentor.

A good mentor is not merely a cheerleader. He’s more than the rah-rah. Like a surgeon, a good mentor identifies the tumors in our lives. She sees the things that we cannot see or refuse to see—character defects, blind spots, and glaring inconsistencies in the way we live. Mentors step into our personal space and ask us the tough questions. They challenge our presuppositions on living. They aren’t afraid to get bloody. The ancients understood this; apprenticeships were a way of life. Professional athletes understand this now; personal trainers and coaches are a foregone conclusion. Yet in our personal lives, we’re content to march along alone, sovereign rulers in the Kingdom of Me. And it’s in this secret kingdom where the tumors of hubris, infidelity, and scandal take root.

Better to swing open the gates and invite a surgeon in. Surgery may be needed. And you don’t have a day to waste.

Relational Invasion...

2010-06-25T09:34:00.005-05:00

The following thoughts were shared by Steve Saccone in a recent post. Steve's words provided me with a great deal to think about.

When it comes to the impact we long to have as human beings, we must be intelligent in how we approach our relationships.

To build and develop true relational influence, we have to be invited into someone’s relational space versus what we sometimes do, which is invade someone’s relational space.

By "relational space," I mean that invisible dynamic inside of people where they either open themselves to someone else’s advice… or resist it. For instance, if someone refuses to allow us into his "relational space," that means he is resisting our advice. In leadership, we often don't know exactly how to handle this interpersonal dynamic. In the process, if we are the invader of someone’s space, we break trust, lose credibility, and diminish our capacity to influence. That’s why we must learn how to navigate the space between you and another.

Let’s think about this dynamic in a different way. Imagine hiring a personal trainer at a local gym to help you get in shape. By hiring him, you give him permission to coach you, offer his advice, and even push you to exercise with greater effort and focus. You are inviting him into your “space.”

On the contrary, imagine seeing a friend at the mall. After saying hello, he verbally assesses your physical health, explains to you how much exercise you need, and then commands you to "do 50 push-ups." I’d be looking for the hidden camera.

This metaphor may sound bizarre, but enter the world of relationships, and people often ignore this same principle. We try to advise people who haven’t yet invited us into their relational space. To them, our approach seems bizarre because we're trying to impose on them something they've never invited us to give.

Maybe this has happened with a person you’re trying to mentor, but you haven't established a mentoring relationship. Or maybe it’s happened with someone you supervise at work, but you've wrongly assumed they want your input. Just because you live in close relational proximity, and just because you have a position of authority, doesn't mean you've established credibility, nor a voice of influence in their life.

Even if our motives are sincere in wanting to make a positive impact, when we force our way into a person’s relational space, they sense relational invasion…and will usually resist. They resist because they feel we’re barging in without knocking. They haven’t opened the door and welcomed us in.

As leaders, we will become more relationally intelligent if we refuse to consistently invade people’s space. Instead, when we wait to be invited our credibility builds and our influence capacity expands.

One of the primary ways to identify when someone is inviting us in comes down to our ability to read and discern non-verbal, invisible cues that people emit. Everyone sends them out, thus communicating whether they’re open or closed off to us. This is revealed primarily through body language and the emotional energy a person emits. In simple terms, someone could maintain a welcoming and open spirit, or they could emit an aloof and distant one. People tell us without words whether they want our advice or input. To be relationally intelligent, we must pay close attention to these cues. Over time, this will help us build relational capital and expand our influence.

I'm not advocating for relational passivity here. And, this doesn't mean there aren't moments when we push through resistance and challenge people to grow and change. It’s just that in many circles, we rarely acknowledge this dynamic, and we continually overlook these cues, often forcing our agenda upon someone and eroding trust.

Since Jesus doesn't force Himself on people neither should we. But His posture is always bent toward serving others, and He’s a model we can emulate in our conversations.

10 Reasons Not to Consider Yourself an Empowering Leader...

2010-06-16T09:02:00.008-05:00

As someone who's trying to grow as a leader, I found this recent post by Ron Edmondson to be very useful.

Here are 10 reasons you may want to reconsider calling yourself an empowering leader AND some tips on what to do about each one:

1. Your number one answer is “NO”

A leader should practice saying “Yes,” even when he or she isn’t certain it’s the right decision. Many times, he or she will be proven wrong. Other times a mistake will be made. In those times, the leader shouldn’t claim, “I told you so,” but allow those times to help shape the empowered leader. You’ve learned from your mistakes and you should allow your leaders that opportunity as well. Saying “Yes” invites people to take risks and keeps them exploring new ideas for your team.

2. You have to personally approve every decision and control every outcome

The leader has to let go of control if she wants others on the team to continue exploring new ideas. Giving up the leader’s right to approve every decision implants ownership into the minds of the team members. People are more likely to give their best attention to things over which they personally have responsibility and control.

3. Everyone on your team works “for you” and not “with you”

If your team feels that they are merely an employee to do your bidding, they will most likely respond as an employee responds; working for a paycheck, rather than as partners on a team. The more the leader talks about and treats people around him or her as participants in attaining a common vision, the more likely others on the team will perform in that role, and perform at a higher level.

Mere employees are fine, they just aren’t as valuable, useful or reliable as trusted team members.

4. You use the word “I” more than the word “We”

A leader’s words carry more weight than he may realize. The best leaders I know rarely use the term “I”, because they love including others in the progress of their work. They love to share credit and spread responsibility, recognizing that the combined efforts of a team make an organization better.

5. Your idea of delegation is telling people what to do, when and how to do it

If a leader wants to delegate, then she has to delegate not only responsibility but also authority. Giving an assignment to someone should also mean giving them the right to choose the best ways to get it done and the general timetable for accomplishing the task. The leader may need to give a deadline for the task to be done, but then she should give some freedom for the one responsible to set the pace towards completion.

6. You say “Do this” far more than you ask “What should we do?”

If a leader wants true team members, then he will have to welcome input by soliciting ideas from others on the team. If people feel they never have a voice at the table, they are less likely to dream new ideas for the team. Eventually, if someone with leadership abilities isn’t allowed to contribute to the discussion, she will look for a place to serve where her input is valued.

7. Nothing happens in your organization without your knowledge

The best delegators I know lead people who are capable of carrying a task to completion without being hand-held through the process. When I see a team accomplishing great things that the lead person doesn’t even know about, I know it is a healthy leader and most likely a healthy team. The leader should be close enough to other areas of the organization to know progress is being made, but should be comfortable with not knowing all the details of accomplishment.

8. You consistently reverse the decisions of the team

There will be times when it is imperative for the leader to reverse a decision made by others on the team, but this should be a rare occurrence. No one likes to waste his or her time and energy on something, which will never be valued or used. It would almost be better to let a few bad decisions go forward than for the leader to shut down the team from wanting to try new things.

9. You control information because information is power

Leaders should willingly share information with the team necessary for completion of their work, but also for motivation, team building, collaboration and a sense of ownership by the entire team. Additionally, information should flow through an organization freely, not simply from the top down. The leader who is closed to learning from those that technically work “for him” will quickly find that the best ideas are never heard.

10. You crush people when they make a mistake

People on the team watch how the leader handles other team member’s mistakes. If they see the leader as forgiving and applying grace to the situation, they are more likely to take a risk. If a team member believes she will feel the crushing weight of defeat if a mistake is made, she will rarely venture outside what is absolutely required to get the job done.

If you desire to be an empowering leader, you desire a challenging task. It requires more risk-taking, a greater value placed upon other people’s skills, and a willingness to humble yourself. Great organizations, however, are built by those leaders willing to empower others to lead well.

Which of these areas is hardest for you to live out as a leader?

God In Brown Shoes...

2010-06-11T13:16:00.006-05:00

I thought this recent post by Shaun Groves was terrific:

I've been wrong before. About a lot of things. Some of them got written down.

I’ve tried to communicate God, as I understand Him at the moment, to the best of my ability, over and over again. And over and over again, as the passage of time has gifted me new vantage points and wisdom and humility, I’ve realized my heresies.

Heresy is inevitable when describing God. And this fact leaves me paralyzed when I sit down to write.

What happens if I’m wrong?

Today it struck me, out of the blue, I will be. Often. As I have been. And that scared me. Until I saw it.

There’s a picture on my piano. It was drawn by my youngest daughter, the best artist in the family. It’s a picture of me.

I know this even though It lacks proper detail, color, perspective. In her rendition I have no neck, no knees or elbows. I’m wearing brown shoes and I hate brown shoes. But the hair’s right and I’m taller than everyone else on the page. And across the top, over my head, it says, “I love Daddy.”

To an art critic it’s atrocious.

As a form of photo ID it’s useless.

But to me, her Dad, the model for this piece, the recipient of this gift, it’s beautiful.

And every Wednesday we have art lessons – we sit down at the kitchen table and draw together. She’s getting better.

I know the truth matters. I’m no proponent of loosey goosey make-it-up-as-you-go-along theology. It matters what God we’re loving not just that we love God. I know Paul literally trembled when trying to put God into words – because the words matter. I know. I know. Truth. Accuracy. These things matter.

So does grace. And mercy. Two words I think – today anyway – God is speaking to me, reminding me to give myself as he’s given to me.

It’s no surprise to God when I get God wrong – when the lines and colors are out of place and he’s left neckless in brown shoes of all things. It’s inevitable.

All writers, in fact – of songs, books, blogs – are heretics. Painters and preachers and you too. God is unavoidably trimmed and bent to fit inside our words – our puny minds, our narrow cultures, time and space and pages. Every attempt to capture him is more of a sketch than a photograph. No one has rendered God right.

But I wonder if he looks at all our well-intentioned scribblings and says, “It’s beautiful... let’s draw together.

The thought of that possibility makes me brave. Today anyway.

Staying Power...

2010-06-07T14:54:00.008-05:00

This poem, by Jeanne Murray Walker, speaks beautifully to why a person can doubt and still believe. This is what it means to write hope.

Staying Power
(In appreciation of Maxim Gorky at the International Convention of Atheists. 1929)

Like Gorky, I sometimes follow my doubts
outside and question the metal sky,
longing to have the fight settled, thinking
I can’t go on like this, and finally I say

all right, it is improbable, all right, there
is no God. And then as if I’m focusing
a magnifying glass on dry leaves, God blazes up.
It’s the attention, maybe, to what isn’t

there that makes the notion flare like
a forest fire until I have to spend the afternoon
dragging the hose to put it out. Even
on an ordinary day when a friend calls,

tells me they’ve found melanoma,
complains that the hospital is cold, I say God.
God, I say as my heart turns inside out.
Pick up any language by the scruff of its neck,

wipe its face, set it down on the lawn,
and I bet it will toddle right into the godfire
again, which--though they say it doesn’t
exist—can send you straight to the burn unit.

Oh, we have only so many words to think with.
Say God’s not fire, say anything, say God’s
a phone, maybe. You know you didn’t order a phone,
but there it is. It rings. You don’t know who it could be.

You don’t want to talk, so you pull out
the plug. It rings. You smash it with a hammer
till it bleeds springs and coils and clobbered up
metal bits. It rings again. You pick it up

and a voice you love whispers hello.

Traditional Ministry vs. Biblical Ministry...

2010-06-04T12:26:00.006-05:00

I found the following post by Eric Geiger, co-author of Simple Church, to be an insightful read.

Often I hear deep lamenting from elders, ministers and staff teams about the lack of volunteer engagement in their churches. And often I have discovered that the problem is not with the people, but a faulty ministry culture that fosters low levels of volunteerism and perpetuates an unhealthy dependence on clergy. The typical approach to ministry in most churches stands in stark contrast to the biblical approach given to us clearly by God.

The typical approach to ministry in many churches looks like this:

(Ministers/Staff) >> minister >> (people)

Typically ministers are hired to minister to people. The number of children increases, so the solution is another minister. The number of sick people is on the rise; therefore, someone is hired to visit people in the hospitals. The typical approach is both illogical and unbiblical. The view is illogical because a church will never be able to afford to hire the entire ministry away. The view is unbiblical because it violates the essential doctrines of the priesthood of believers and spiritual gifting.

The biblical approach is found in Ephesians 4:11-12. “It was he who gave some to be … pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.” The biblical approach looks like this:

(Ministers) >> prepare >> (people) >> to minister

In other words, we’ve created a big discrepancy between “Ministers” and “ministers.” Ministers are really leaders who don’t do ministry. Rather they equip and prepare people (ministers) for ministry. Churches that have effectively created a volunteer culture possess a deep seeded biblical conviction that all believers are gifted for ministry, not just the “professionals.” The ministers view themselves as equippers and trainers of the ministers within their church, and the people view themselves as active and essential servants.

How do we foster a culture in churches where people expect to be trained and equipped?

The Art of High Five-ing...

2010-06-02T10:48:00.007-05:00

The simple handshake has evolved into the high five. And the high five has morphed into more permutations than you can shake a stick at. If you're struggling to stay current in the world of "high five-ing," this video can help.

Go forth and high five with confidence!

Be Still...

2010-06-01T06:51:00.004-05:00

"What people so desperately need today is space, stillness and attentiveness. And what so many churches major in are busyness, hurry and noise."

Dueling Tee-Shirts...

2010-05-31T20:39:00.004-05:00

Dueling tee-shirts...

Pretty amazing.

Waiter, There's A Fly In My Soup...

2010-05-28T11:09:00.011-05:00

I thought this was a great post from Michael Hyatt in which he suggests four strategies to use in responding to poor customer service:

Perhaps you’ve noticed: customer service has deteriorated noticeably since the recession began. Fewer waiters in restaurants. Slower room service in hotels. Longer wait times for support.

This is hardly surprising. With significant layoffs in almost every industry, fewer people are available to provide the level of service you have come to expect. Everyone is scrambling. Many are stumbling.

What can you do about it? More than you think. But it begins by adjusting your attitude. This is what distinguishes leaders from non-leaders. They have the ability to lead themselves.

Therefore, here four strategies for responding to poor customer service:

1. Be more understanding. The people who are trying to serve me are no doubt overworked and underpaid. They are doing the best they can. They didn’t wake up this morning plotting how to disappoint me. They are not stupid or incompetent. Indeed, most of them are frustrated that they don’t have more resources to meet their customers’ needs.

2. Express gratitude. It’s easy to focus on all the stuff I am not getting that I think I am entitled to. Instead, I am going to work hard to thank people for all the little stuff they do for me. If I can set aside my expectations, it’s amazing how much more I will notice and acknowledge. A simple, heart-felt “thank you” can re-energize a person who is discouraged and ready to quit.

3. Demonstrate patience. Is my need really so urgent or am I really that important that I need it now? Probably not. I can use these delays and annoyances to polish my own character and better learn the virtue of patience. This comes down to a simple matter of treating others the way I would want to be treated in a similar situation.

4. Extend grace. Someone has said that mercy is not giving people what they deserve while grace is giving people what they don’t deserve. For example, that over-worked waiter didn’t give me the service that I might have received two years ago. But now he’s covering 50% more tables. And people are tipping less. I’m going to give him the full 20%. Why? Because I want to be a gracious and bless him.

None of this means you have to rollover or accept poor service as the new norm. But you are more likely to get good service if you have a good attitude rather than a bad one. And even if you don’t get better service, you can at least feel better about yourself and what you are becoming.

ACEBPAASHTOTIIYCOOU...

2010-05-25T18:10:00.003-05:00

ACEBPAASHTOTIIYCOOU = Acronyms can easily be perceived as a secret handshake that only the insiders in your church or organization understand.

Be judicious and thoughtful in your use of acronyms.

Church Became...

2010-05-21T11:29:00.008-05:00

Somewhere along the way "church" for some people became a once-a-week event at a building... an event with no sense of community, and removed from the rest of their week and lives.

Fight Back...

2010-05-20T18:51:00.005-05:00

The Holy Spirit knew I needed the reminder found in this recent post by Pete Wilson:

Leading in any environment can be a difficult, exhausting, and lonely task. Whether you’re a minister, a mother, a teacher, a small business owner or the CEO of a large company you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I bet there are some of you who doubt whether or not you’re making a difference.

I bet there are some of you avoiding an important challenge.

I bet there are some of you tempted to abandon God’s values.

I bet there are some of you tempted to give up today.

Disappointment, discouragement, and divisiveness constantly hunt after the leader’s spirit.

Fight back.

Gospel vs. Religion...

2010-05-14T10:52:00.011-05:00

Acceptance

* Religion: “I obey; therefore, I’m accepted.”
* Gospel: “I’m accepted; therefore, I obey.”

Motivation

* Religion: Motivation is based on fear and insecurity.
* Gospel: Motivation is based on grateful joy.

Obedience

* Religion: I obey God in order to get things from God.
* Gospel: I obey God to get God – to delight in and resemble Him.

Circumstances

* Religion: When circumstances in my life go wrong, I am angry at God or myself, since I believe that anyone who is good deserves a comfortable life.
* Gospel: When circumstances in my life go wrong, I struggle, but I know my punishment fell on Jesus and that while God may allow this for my training, He will exercise his Fatherly love within my trial.

Criticism

* Religion: When I am criticized, I am furious or devastated because it is critical that I think of myself as a “good person.” Threats to self-image must be destroyed at all costs.
* Gospel: When I am criticized, I struggle, but it is not essential for me to think of myself as a “good person.” My identity is not built on my record or my performance, but on God’s love for me in Christ.

Prayer

* Religion: My prayer life consists largely of petition, and it only heats up when I am in a time of need. My main purpose in prayer is control of the environment.
* Gospel: My prayer life consists of generous stretches of praise and adoration. My main purpose is fellowship with God.

Confidence

* Religion: My self-view swings things between to poles. If and when I am living up to my standards, I feel confident, but then I am prone to be proud and unsympathetic to failing people. If and when I am not living up to standards, I feel humble but not confident – I feel like a failure.
* Gospel: My self-view is not based on my moral achievement. In Christ I am simultaneously sinful and lost, yet accepted in Christ. I am so bad that he had to die for me, and I am so loved that he was glad to die for me. This leads me to deep humility and confidence at the same time.

Identity

* Religion: My identity and self-worth are based mainly on how hard I work, or how moral I am – and so I must look down on those I perceive as lazy or immoral.
* Gospel: My identity and self worth are centered on the One who died for me. I am saved by sheer grace, and I can’t look down on those who believe or practice something different from me. Only by grace am I what I am.

Walking Along...

2010-05-11T17:14:00.006-05:00

I found myself on a walking trail in a large park not long ago. Many of my fellow walkers/joggers/runners seemed to be most intent on their activity. I tried to take in those who joined me on the path. I saw...

"Basketball man"... an older gentleman who carried a basketball with him as he walked.

"Ohio State man" was decked out in an Ohio State hat and tee-shirt. He wore big sunglasses and listened to his iPod as he walked.

"Stroller jogging moms" (and an occasional dad) who have the latest in aerodynamic stroller technology (a three wheeler with big tires) that allows for speed and efficiency as they job while pushing Junior.

"Lady with the big stick"... an older African American woman who walked with a big stick firmly grasped in her right hand. I assumed it was a defence against loose dogs and not a weapon to be used on fellow walkers.

"Walker walking man"... older man who appeared to have suffered a stroke. He shuffled along behind his aluminum walker as he straddled the center of the path hash-marks separating the walking/jogging side of the path from the bicycle side.

Who did you see today?

"Contemporvant"...

2010-05-07T14:33:00.002-05:00

Some videos are so hilarious (and convicting) you feel compelled to share them. This vid definitely fits that description.

Investment Questions...

2010-05-04T21:46:00.005-05:00

Today was day two of Drive Conference 2010, and I enjoyed a challenging day full of "learnings." As I flipped through the notes I'd taken today, I noticed two questions in my notebook I'd both underscored and circled (which may or may not mean these were my key take-aways from the day). Regardless, I thought the two questions were worth sharing with you... as I believe the answers we arrive at to these questions say a great deal about each of us--both in terms of the people we have in our lives, and the kind of people we are to the people in our lives.

Here are the questions, and allow God's Spirit to breathe wisdom and insight into your heart and mind as you answer them:

1) Who are the people I feel are investing in me?

2) Who are the people who feel I am investing in them?

Were you able to come up with names in answer to both questions?

Sabbatical Reflections...

2010-04-30T19:08:00.010-05:00

Time moves quickly. Almost two weeks have passed since my return from my sabbatical. It's taken me all of that time to begin to process some of the lessons God taught me through the sabbatical. If no particular order, here are some reflections from my sabbatical...

I began my sabbatical with this prayer:

"Father, my desire is to hear You. Not necessarily that You would speak to me, though that would be wonderful, and I trust You to do that if You see fit. Rather, I want to be listening for what You are saying and what You have been saying. I fear my hectic pace is often such that I’m too busy doing things I believe would please You… and I fail to listen for what You are saying to me. Tune my ears, Father… still my mind, and calm my spirit and my heart."

I approached the two weeks of sabbatical with intentionality and prayer. I did not view my sabbatical as a vacation, or even a study break. My sense was that the Spirit was leading me into a time of rest, reflection, prayer, reading, solitude and renewal. It took me about two days to “cycle down”… as my normal life pace (RPMs) tends to be fast-paced, but God was patient and waited on me to quiet down.

Initially, I was not looking forward to hours of solitude… but I came to delight in them. Reading, praying, thinking and walking became thrilling ways for me to spend time alongside God… and wonderful opportunities to hear Him.

New Orleans has some great parks… and I spent delightful days at both Audubon Park and City Park. Walking, delighting in God’s creation, taking in the beauty of springtime (the azaleas were in bloom!), being among people--but not necessarily interacting with them.

I spent two wonderful afternoons at the New Orleans’ Museum of Art (Wednesday afternoons are free admission!). Being able to take in the work of master painters, sculptors and other artisans at a pace I rarely allow myself (do you rush through museums?) was nourishing to my soul. I saw and experienced God’s majesty and creative power revealed in the talent He had given these artisans.

I did enjoy some great food while in New Orleans… my good friend and Carrollton elder, Robert Carpenter and his wife, Myrna, were my gracious hosts for several meals. And I discovered that while it was pleasant to read and people-watch as I took most of my meals alone, I really missed the companionship of others (especially Susan) around the meal table. I realized that for me, food is best enjoyed in the presence of family and friends.

I preached at Carrollton Avenue church on the three Sundays I was in New Orleans. This responsibility in no way detracted from my sabbatical. If anything, God used this time alongside fellow believers as a reminder of the great gift He’s given us in providing church family.

My last Sunday’s lesson at Carrollton was on Sabbath. This was a lesson I would not have thought to bring, or even been prepared to deliver, if it had not been for my time spent in sabbatical. I have returned to Abilene with a deeper understanding of, and appreciation for, God’s great gift of Sabbath. I have committed to God a weekly observance of a Sabbath.

My sabbatical ended with this prayer on my lips: "Father, I delight in You! Praise your Holy Name!"

What You Can Learn From A Lousy Teacher...

2010-04-29T10:47:00.002-05:00

Seth Godin seems to have a knack for making me think about things differently. He did that again for me in this recent post.

If you have a teacher (of any sort) that you cannot please, that you cannot learn from, that is unwilling to take you where you need to go because he is defending the status quo and demonstrates your failure on whatever report card he chooses to use, you could consider yourself a failure. Or you could remind yourself...

- Grades are an illusion.
- Your passion and insight are reality.
- Your work is worth more than mere congruence to an answer key.
- Persistence in the face of a skeptical authority figure is a powerful ability.
- Fitting in is a short-term strategy, standing out pays off in the long run.
- If you care enough about the work to be criticized, you've learned enough for today.

I Quilt...

2010-04-26T20:27:00.004-05:00

I'm a fan of Seth Godin. I appreciate his ability to pack a ton of insight into a few words... as evidenced by this recent post:

When you've had enough, can't tolerate your job any longer and are ready to quit, perhaps you could try one last thing.

Quilt instead.

You've got nothing to lose, right? I mean, you're going to quit anyway, so what's the worst that could happen to you?

So quilt. Spend hours every day integrating the people you work with into a cohesive group. Weave in your customers as well. Take every scrap, even the people you don't like, and sew them together. Spend far less time than you should on the 'real' work and instead focus on creating genuine connections with the people you work with. Including your boss. After all, once you quit, you're never going to see them again anyway, right? Might as well give it a try.

Careful... it might change everything.

I'm Back (I Think)...

2010-04-23T08:17:00.006-05:00

It's been almost a week since I returned from my two-week sabbatical and I've been somewhat conflicted about resuming regular postings to Conexus. My struggle hasn't been with not having anything I'd like to share. More to the point, I've wrestled with some deeper concerns about the place social media (blogs, Facebook, Twitter, etc.) now occupies in our culture, and the time being invested by so many of us in social media.

Frankly, I've grown a bit disenchanted with some who have appointed themselves arbiters of what's worth saying, and their self-ascribed expertise in how to say it. To put it bluntly, the pretentiousness of some out there in social media land has made me question if I want to continue to add to the on-line cacophony of words and sound... in what seems to be an ever increasing environment in which very few are truly reading and listening.

So, at the risk of sounding pretentious, I've decided to return to a somewhat regular routine of posting to Conexus. I re-examined why I started this blog in the first place ("ll try to have something I think is worth reading or I won't bother writing it." - Quote from my first post in April of 2008) and felt that remained a valid platform to work from.

My bottom line... I'm writing as a creative and introspective outlet. I'm encouraged you might want to occasionally read what I write... but I'm also okay if you want to click elsewhere. Further disclosure: I turned off the comment feature on Conexus some time ago, not because I didn't enjoy your occasional comments, but because I didn't want the desire for comments to drive what and who I wrote.

It's good to be back. I look forward to seeing where God takes me and Conexus in the future.

Sabbatical...

2010-04-05T15:16:00.009-05:00

I begin a two-week sabbatical today... a gift of personal and spiritual renewal provided me by my SoHills' shepherds. The prayer I am praying as I enter this sabbatical is not that God would speak to me... don't get me wrong, I'd be thrilled if God did, and I trust He will do so if He sees fit. Rather, I want to be listening for what God is saying... and what perhaps I've not been hearing because of my pace or "busyness."

I'd appreciate your prayers on my behalf. I'll see you in two weeks.

For the darkness of waiting,
of not knowing what is to come,
of staying ready and quiet and attentive,
we praise you, O God:

For the darkness and the light are both alike to you.

For the darkness of staying silent,
for the terror of having nothing to say,
and for the greater terror of needing to say nothing,
we praise you, O God.

For the darkness and the light are both alike to you.

For the darkness of loving,
in which it is safe to surrender, to let go of our self-protection,
and to stop holding back our desire,
we praise you, O God.

For the darkness and the light are both alike to you.

For the darkness of choosing,
when you give us the moment to speak, and act, and change,
and we cannot know what we have set in motion,
but we still have to take the risk,
we praise you, O God.

For the darkness and the light are both alike to you.

For the darkness of hoping
in a world which longs for you;
for the wrestling and the laboring of all creation
for wholeness and justice and freedom,
we praise you, O God.

For the darkness and the light are both alike to you.

From All Desires Known by Janet Morley

Two Most Important Leadership Responsibilities...

2010-04-01T11:45:00.006-05:00

I really liked, and really related to, these thoughts on leadership Mike Foster shared recently:

If I had to pick my two most important leadership responsibilities, here's what they'd be...

1. Build Trust: I do this with striving to live transparently and with character in both my personal and professional life. Bottom line is if people don’t trust you, they won’t let you lead them. Especially if you are leading to a place of challenge, risk, and the unknown. Our inspirational speeches, clever mission statements, and our stunning business card titles are nice, but they don’t trump trust.

2. Bear Pain: Let me shoot straight. If your heart isn't burdened for others and you're not helping to carry that weight, then you are not a leader. If your world isn't uncomfortable and you aren't navigating pain on a daily basis, then you’re probably not a leader. I love what Craig Groeschel said to me many moons ago: “The size of your platform is directly proportional to the amount of pain you can endure.”

Your thoughts? Are there any other leadership responsibilities that you think are more critical?

Transformational Church...

2010-03-29T19:28:00.011-05:00

I found this excerpt from the soon-to-be published book Transformational Church by Ed Stetzer and Thom Rainer to be a worthwhile read. I look forward to reading the entire book.

We have spent the most of our adult lives as leaders serving churches. During those years, like many of you, we have watched God transform people with the power of the gospel. Transformation is at the heart of God's mission to humanity. He delights in moving us from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light--and then empowering and directing us as agents of his kingdom. And He has chosen the church as His instrument in this world. We, the body of Christ, are God's chosen method to deliver the message of transformation to our neighbors both in the community and around the world. It is our mission.

But the story of many churches is not one of transformation. It is more of repetition or even stagnation. As leaders, we sometimes fool ourselves into thinking that the Merry-Go-Round approach to church is enough. Keep everyone moving, the lights bright, and the music happy and you will get no complaints. The big problem-- too few are making any headway. Rather than missionary disciples for Christ moving out into the world, we have a group of happy people going in circles.

God calls us to make a transformational impact on the world, not provide a carnival of frenetic activity for ourselves. But to do so, we must engage in His mission. And ministers and church leaders must move beyond entertaining the consumers to engaging Christ's mission.

When Supermodels And Cafeteria Workers Fall...

2010-03-26T09:18:00.006-05:00

Every now and then I come across something that's so compelling that my first reaction is "I wish I'd written that." The following post by Mike Foster is in that category... I wish I'd written this.

Last week The Tonight Show with Jay Leno played two video clips of people falling down. One was a cafeteria worker who slipped and fell hard on the floor. The next clip was of a beautiful supermodel who took a tumble on a fashion show catwalk.

Both were similar falls while at work. Both had lots of people looking on. Can you guess which one of them got help from others? Yep, the supermodel!!!

Not 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 but FIIIIIIIVVVVVEEEE (5) people helped her back up!!!! No big surprise right?

And how many helped the cafeteria worker? ZIP! NADA! NOBODY! The people just watched and then went back to eating. It was a funny comparison of how people respond to basically the same situation.

The problem is we do the very same thing when hand out grace. Too often our mercy is conditional and inconsistent. We are picky and choosy of who we help.

Dope smoker = Forgiven.

Crack whore = Judgment.

Porn watcher = Forgiven.

Porn maker = Judgment.

Straight extramarital sex = Forgiven.

Gay sex = Judgment.

People who have the same struggles as us = Forgiven.

People who have different struggles than us = Judgment.

You get my point. Grace doesn’t discriminate and a second chance should seek equality. (By the way, for those thinking I’m just throwing out the reality of consequences to our actions, I’m not. Don’t miss my point here.)

My hope is all of us can be a little more consistent when handing out a second chance.

Debunking The Hydraulic Theory of Missions...

2010-03-25T10:11:00.012-05:00

Several years ago a friend shared a concept that's stuck with me: the hydraulic theory of missions. According to this theory, and apparently widely accepted by many people and churches, is that the only meaningful mission fields are found when one travels great distances... usually across some great body of water (that puts the "hydraulic" in the theory).

I'm fairly certain my friend did not endorse this theory. I believe he was simply pointing to its existence based on his observing many people and churches practicing the principle behind the theory.

Having just returned from a mission experience in New Orleans, which indeed was of some distance from Abilene... and which did cause me to pass over a great body of water (the mighty Mississippi River), I'd like to add my voice to the debunking of the hydraulic theory of missions. Here's what I consider the most sinister, yea verily the most satanic, underlying principle in the theory:

1) Mission is always far away from you live (wherever that might be),
2) Few people have the wherewithal to get to those places (but God bless them for going) and
3) For those who do make it to those faraway places: plan to leave your passion/purpose for reaching people behind when you return home.

I'm thinking the insidiously evil message that lurks behind the hydraulic theory of missions is this: "Go, Christian soldier, if you must. But be deceived into thinking those same opportunities, people, needs you find in that faraway place you're visiting are NOT found where you live."

So... I'm standing up and shouting (if a blog post indeed has volume) that the hydraulic theory of missions is a bunch of bunk. Please don't misunderstand... I praise God for those who go to faraway places to serve and teach others in the name of Jesus. But for those of us who don't go to those places, or who visit them for a short time, we have powerful opportunities for serving and teaching others in the name of Jesus right where we live.

Join me in living as a debunker of the hydraulic theory of missions.

I've Been Taking a Break...

2010-03-23T18:18:00.011-05:00

Those of you who take the time to visit Conexus have most likely taken note of the paucity of posts over the past month. An exciting new role I've been called to at SoHills has made some significant demands on my time.... and I spent last week as part of an ACU Spring Break Campaign team in New Orleans. Suffice it to say I've been busy, but content.

Regarding my new role... SoHills' elders will be sharing both their hearts and information with the church this Sunday about some exciting changes they have implemented in our leadership model. Recognizing that systems create behaviors, and systems trump vision, our shepherds have spent the past 2 years prayerfully considering the changes they are making at a systems level. More on m new role later... I don't want to steal any of the thunder from my elders as they speak to the church on Sunday.

As far as my week in New Orleans with the ACU Spring Break Campaign team... what can I say, I loved every minute of it! Serving alongside 20 university students who give up their Spring Break, pay their own money, to serve others in the name of Jesus--wow, I get chill bumps just typing those words.

Our team loved on, and was loved on by, the Carrollton Avenue church. Members of our team spent time at two New Orleans' elementary schools tutoring children. Those who served in this way came away deeply moved by the sweet spirits of the children, and profoundly touched by the deeply difficult circumstances the children lived in.

And a significant work project our team engaged in during our week in New Orleans was the construction of a playground for the Carrollton Avenue church. No sooner had placed the finishing touches on the playground, than children were happily climbing in the "geo-dome" our team had purchased and donated.

If you want your heart encouraged, and your spirit lifted... come to New Orleans with me and the ACU students who'll participate on next year's Spring Break Campaign.

Okay... you're somewhat caught up with me. I'm hoping to get another post up in the next day or so. Thanks for reading...

"And" Instead of "Or"...

2010-03-11T16:25:00.003-06:00

I couldn't whether to just read or re-post this thought-provoking article by Tony Morgan ... so I decided to do both.

Why does it have to be attractional or missional? I’ve seen lives impacted by both approaches. Why can’t it be attractional and missional?

Why does it have to be evangelism or discipleship? Christ-followers need to be engaged in both. Why can't it be evangelism and discipleship?

Why does it have to be teaching from the platform or teaching in the living room? I've been stretched by God's Word in both settings. Why can't it be teaching from the platform and the living room?

Why does it have to be worship with an amazing production or simple, stripped-down worship? I've experienced powerful worship in both environments. Why can't we do both?

Why does it have to be corporate gatherings or one-on-one relationships? I need both to be encouraged and stretched in my faith and my leadership. Why can't we embrace both ways of connecting with others.

One of the things that most frustrates me about church-world blogs is the "or" approach to writing. I don’t get it. Frankly, it’s probably one of the reasons why in most cases I’d prefer to read marketplace blogs. In marketplace writing, if someone thinks they have the "right way" of doing something, they just go do it. Then they write about how it worked or didn't work. In church-world writing, if someone thinks they have the “right way” of doing something, they write about how the other church is wrong.

What if we took the "and" approach? What if we were open to the possibility that more people might be reached if we stopped doing either/or and started embracing both/and? What if God really designed some churches to be one way for one community or culture and other churches to be another way for another community or culture? My guess, as an example, is it's going to take a completely different type of church to reach the inner-city than it’s going to take to reach the neighborhoods of Paulding County, Georgia.

We spend a lot of time and energy fighting for the "or." Wonder what would happen if we just embraced the "and" needed to reach our communities?

The problem, of course, is that we like to worship our methods. Our preferences are the priority. In fact, we shape religion around our preferences even if it means sacrificing the broader impact of our ministry. Why help other people when it might make us uncomfortable?

I just wanted you to know I'm more of an "and"-type of guy. I know that frustrates you. It would be a lot easier to dislike me if I didn't agree with you. The problem is that in many circumstances, I think you're right. The only difference is that I don't think you're always right.

And neither am I.

10 Characteristics of a Healthy Team...

2010-03-09T20:27:00.001-06:00

The following post by Ron Edmondson caught my attention. Ron's ten characteristics remind me of the healthy team I work alongside of at SoHills.

I love organizational leadership as a subject and I am happy to serve on a healthy team. It’s amazing how many church leaders I know that say their team is not healthy. Recently I started wondering why it is that I claim our team is healthy and it led me to this post. Here, in my opinion, are 10 elements of a healthy organization/team:

1) A shared vision is held by all team members.

2) Team members and their individual ideas are equally valued.

3) Leadership development is a part of the strategy.

4) The organization readily embraces change and risk taking is encouraged.

5) Team members are continually energized and encouragement flows freely.

6) It’s a fun place to hang out…people enjoy their work and relationships are deeper than just the professional environment.

7) Mistakes are considered part of the learning process.

8) The structure doesn’t limit growth, but provides healthy boundaries.

9) There is a freedom to offer constructive criticism, even of top leadership, without fear of retribution.

10) Conflict is not discouraged, but used to make the team better.

What would you add to the list?

Rube Goldberg Would Be Proud...

2010-03-04T05:50:00.005-06:00

As someone who has a super-sized version of the old "Mousetrap" board game in his office, I am in awe of the creativity displayed in this video.

Indeed, Rube Goldberg would be proud.

In Memory of Paper Phone Books...

2010-03-02T15:50:00.007-06:00

Someone recently delivered to the front door of my house two new phone books. That same week someone (I'm not thinking it was the same person) placed a new phone book in front of my office door. My response was to deliver all three of the above-mentioned phone books to our local recycling center. ("Thank you for recycling!")

Let me state for the record... I hold no animosity toward new phone books and/or those who distribute them. In fact, my father spent his work career with the people who put the Yellow Pages in many cities' phone books. So phone books have a fond place in my heart in that they helped put food on our table when I was growing up.

The fact is: I no longer use the printed-on-paper phone book.

Now... that doesn't mean I have memorized all the phone numbers I use on a daily basis, or that I have given up the phone. The fact of my life is that I no longer use a traditional printed-on-paper phone book because other readily-at-my-fingertips' resources (the Internet, GOOG411, etc.) are more convenient and easier to use.

My choices: 1) bemoan the demise of the paper phone book; 2) continue to use a paper phone book because it's what my parents used, and I grew up using; 3) or accept the fact that things change... and change does not equal bad or evil.

"For things to change, somebody somewhere has to start acting differently. Maybe it's you..." (Switch by Chip Heath & Dan Heath)

What are your holding on to that needs to be taken to the recycling bin? And who needs to start acting differently in order for things to change... and might that who be you?

Criticizing Church, Defending Church...

2010-02-25T14:25:00.002-06:00

I found the following post by Scot McKnight to be a challenging and insightful read:

Everywhere I go and nearly everyone I read has a theme, whether central or peripheral, and I think the theme is getting too much attention and it's getting too much play and it's setting us up for failure.

Here's the theme: the church is so messed up.

Instances: preaching is not that good today; theology is so shallow today; Christian morals are so loose today; parents are not that good today; we've got too much individualism today; kids don't respond as they used to; the church is spending too much money today; Christians aren't liked in culture...

The suggestion: Let's start all over again. This time we'll get it right. Let's get ourselves a group of really zealous followers of Jesus and let's think about Kingdom and forget the choir robes and denominations and pastors and hierarchy and church budgets. Finally, we'll get it right. We'll just follow Jesus and we'll forget the church. We'll do Kingdom work and forget the church.

Go ahead. Join the crowd. In a few years you'll come back to something you either face now, in a more rational manner, or later in a more chastened manner, that is if you've got any passion left. Here's my theory:

I want to say I believe in an Augustinian ecclesiology.

When I say this, I am not talking about what Augustine believed about Rome and the state. No, I'm taking the old-fashioned Augustinian anthropology, where he had a rather dismal but not altogether unrealistic theory of human nature. Fallen and broken, what I call "cracked Eikons" in my book Embracing Grace: A Gospel for All of Us. I'm suggesting we need to apply the Augustinian anthropology to create an Augustinian ecclesiology. (This, by the way, is nothing new.)

In other words, if you want perfection, don't look to the church. If you want the ideal, don't look to the church. If you want a perfect fellowship, don't look to the church. If you want the utopian society, don't look to the church.

But if you want a gaggle of cracked Eikons, sinners and mistake-makers and sometimes goofed-up and sometimes incredibly loving and joyous and devoted, then look to the church. You'll find that kind of group, but not the perfect group.

What ever makes us think the church has to be either perfect or we'll stay home and do our own thing? I've been thinking about this this year, and the thought keeps coming into my head along these lines:

God's people, whom He never disowned, in the Old Testament did some great things and some mighty stupid things; they had some great leaders and some disgusting ones; they had some high moments and they had some low moments.

God's people, whom He never disowns, in the New Testament, move from that wonderful church plant of fellowship in Acts 2 and 4 to some liars and deceivers and some great leaders who get into arguments with one another and sometimes abandon one another and get themselves in awful messes. And Paul tells us about church problems that would make us admit that an Augustinian ecclesiology is perhaps what we need because it's what we've got.

Perhaps a cracked fellowship of cracked Eikons is the point of what the church is!

Perhaps that's why the churches have always put the Eucharist table in the middle. We come to the Table to partake in God's forgiving grace because we're cracked Eikons. When cracked Eikons form a fellowship, you get a cracked fellowship. In the cracks God works His grace.

Winter Wonderland...

2010-02-23T12:51:00.004-06:00

We woke up to a lovely blanket of snow this morning in ABI.

Notice the bright orange "Popsicles" (aka sluggishly swimming goldfish) in the bottom of our pond.

When People Use "Colorful Language" Around You...

2010-02-18T09:09:00.008-06:00

I thought this recent post by one of my favorite bloggers, Jon Acuff, was a classic. Over the years I've been struck by people who, when they discover I'm a minister, apologize for swearing around me. I'm thinking Jon has come up with a great set of responses to these folks.

The other day in the car, my four year old blurted out, "Stupid backpack!" I slowed down and asked her what she had just said. She paused for a minute and then responded, "Sometimes my brain says silly things. Silly billy, willy scoobaleedoo."

Although I appreciated the verbal smokescreen she threw down to cover her tracks, she still said a word we’re not cool with at the Acuff house. But as funny as her response was, it’s nothing like what happens sometimes when people swear around Christians. Have you ever experienced that? It is a truly magical moment my friend.

Usually, it’s just that a word slipped into a sentence unexpectedly. Your friend suddenly catches themselves and says, "Oh, hey, sorry about that. I didn’t mean to say that. My bad." And then the conversation moves on. But what are we supposed to do? What should your response be when you hear one of your friends swear near you? Funny that you should ask…

5 Things To Do When A Friend Swears Near You.

1. Slap him in the mouth.

Right in the mouth. Go on, do it. I know a lot of people are going to tell you a kidney punch is most appropriate in this situation, but I disagree. For my money, few things offer the same sound, impact and “who dat” power of a slap in the mouth.

2. Weep softly.

Just start crying softly. Wipe your nose with your sleeve and keep looking at the person, shaking your head back and forth in clear, visible disappointment. The more tender the tears the better.

3. Swear back.

First two options not your style? Then go the other direction and make them feel okay about the swear by saying one of your own.

4. Hold them.

Want to make a slightly awkward situation even more awkward? Just embrace them. No side hug, I’m talking full frontal. Recreate that scene from the movie Good Will Hunting where Robin Williams cradles a sobbing Matt Damon and says, “It’s not your fault, it’s not your fault.” Do that exact same thing here.

5. Reassure them that you’ve heard that word before.

If I’m in my mid-thirties and you swear near me, chances are, I’ve heard that word before. Maybe even a lot and more colorfully dressed up if I happened to be a mailman one dark, twisted summer. (That last one just got personal.)

If you do end up slapping people in the mouth, please don’t mention this blog site. This list is probably the kind of advice that makes Christian magazines keep avoiding me. But if you do make a big deal out of a swear, know that you’ve just asked someone to edit themselves around you and it’s really hard to get a friend to be honest when you’ve placed conditions on what they can say. I’m not justifying swears, but just hoping that if the choice is "help lead someone into a growing relationship with Christ," or "avoid someone because they swear a lot" that we’ll all make a good choice.

Leading By Example...

2010-02-16T16:00:00.009-06:00

"If you're asking people to connect relationally to people who do not know God, you must lead by example." - Simple Church

This quote smacked me in the face... because I believe so strongly that leaders must lead by example. We have begun a year-long focus at SoHills during which we are challenging church to share their God Stories with their friends, and to trust God to connect those stories to the story of Jesus. I can't ask that of others if I'm not willing to share my God Story.

I am willing.

And I will.

They Made An Investment...

2010-02-12T15:39:00.007-06:00

My friend, Don Davis, made an investment in me. (That's Don above on the left with the interesting glasses. This is an old picture, but it carries a lot of meaning.) When I arrived in Atlanta as the Decatur church's new youth minister, Don had been holding down the Kingdom fort... so to speak. He had been standing in the gap as that church's youth minister. And when I arrived, Don stood solidly alongside me.

Don is one of the smartest guys I know (PhD in Electrical Engineering from Georgia Tech)... and that means he's a lot smarter than me. But Don taught, encouraged, prayed, worked and ministered alongside me for almost 23 years, and he did so without ever reminding me that he was doing youth ministry before I got there. Don never put his ego above God's Kingdom possibilities. He invested time, creativity and friendship into me.

Don remains a dear friend and a deeply respected brother in Christ. I've said it before in other places, but everyone needs a Don Davis. A selfless ministry partner who always had my back... but didn't always agree with me or take my side. Don made me think harder, work better, be sharper and more fully use the gifts God had placed in me.

I plan to mention others who've made a difference in my life... along with their pictures. And by doing so I hope I'll cause you to recall, and thank if you haven't done so and are able to, those who have been used by God to make a difference in your life.

Un-believeable...

2010-02-09T05:04:00.006-06:00

Watch this and see if you don't agree that this is one of the most incredible action sequences you've ever seen.

This clip requires you to completely suspend reality. You want to turn away... but you can't.

Un-learning 101...

2010-02-07T15:34:00.010-06:00

My last post ended with the question, "How do you un-learn?" Here are are a few ways I’ve been trying to practice un-learning:

1) Ask yourself really good questions.

We live in a world that processes lots of information. Rarely do we reflect upon really good questions. One of the values of thinking through good questions is that it challenges the patterns of thinking and behaving that often go unchallenged.

Look for, write down, and think through good questions.

2) Learn from others who seem to get it.

Look around you for others who seem to be making headway in areas where you'd like to grow in. Dump the pride that would cause you to be threatened by the admission you have a lot to learn (and un-learn) and seek counsel and new perspectives from those both within and without your organization.

The people I'm seeking out in this way are challenging my thinking on a number of fronts, helping me un-learn and then learn again.

3) Talk less. Listen more. I'm thinking that's a pretty straightforward concept.

4) Identify and examine your assumptions.

Recently the SoHills' Groups Leadership Team had a great discussion about the assumptions we have made about our Groups. We came up with a long list and walked through each one of them. One of the items we discussed was that the Groups' path is a "one-size-fits-all" approach for those who are new to our church. Much of how we were approaching Groups was predicated on this assumption... which our team agreed, after wrestling with it for quite some time, was not a valid assumption. My point isn’t what's the best approach to take to small groups. My point is that when you identify your assumptions, it usually creates great dialogue. It forces you to see differently.

Certainly there are many more strategies for un-learning... but if you're sensing un-learning is a discipline you need to embrace, perhaps the above possibilities will get you started on the process of unlearning.

Un-cool, Un-cola, Un-learning...

2010-02-04T20:30:00.006-06:00

Let me say up front, "I like to learn." Whether it be reading, talking to other people, or auditing college classes... learning ignites something in me.

One aspect of learning that gets little attention or recognition is the value of un-learning. For example, we all bring certain presuppositions to the table based on our previous experiences and lessons. That’s called life. And those very experiences and lessons influence our perception of the present and future. That’s good... but also a bit dangerous.

As the writer Anais Nin says, "We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are." That's a big difference.

To see things as they really are and not how we perceive them to be takes a strong self-awareness, for both organizations and individuals. It’s why change is often so difficult. Our experiences and life lessons are so embedded within us that sometimes we can’t see the need for, or necessity of, change.

We have to be willing to un-learn what we’ve learned. That’s not to suggest that what we've learned is necessarily wrong. However, the value of un-learning is that it keeps what we have learned fresh and dynamic. And yes, there are times when we discover that our perceptions and assumptions are wrong, or out-dated. Either way, learning how to un-learn is a valuable tool.

Which brings us to this question: "How do you un-learn?”

1,000 God Stories...

2010-02-02T17:04:00.007-06:00

"Connect their story to God’s story with your story."

That’s what I hope we do this year at SoHills.

I hope we connect stories of your friends and mine to the story of Jesus.

I hope we connect their stories to God’s story with our stories — at least 1,000 God stories in 2010 of how God’s grace, love and power is shining through in our offices, neighborhoods, tennis leagues... or wherever we go.

Our aim is to simply be storytellers this year, telling the story with our lives of who Jesus is and what He means to us. And in doing so, perhaps God will use our story to connect their story with His.

They Made An Investment...

2010-02-01T04:59:00.002-06:00

I've been thinking lately about people who invested themselves in me. These are people who saw more in me at the time than I saw in myself. They have been a gift from God, and have without a doubt been used by God to mold me more into the person He's made me to be.

One of my first mentors was James F. Fowler, who was the preacher at the Central Church of Christ in Birmingham, Alabama when I became that church's youth minister. Jimmy Fowler (as he was know to his peers, but not me... it would have been like calling your parents by their first name) was 25+ years older than me, and had several decades of experience working with local church. I brought with me several hours of experience, a great deal of enthusiasm and a desire to learn.

J.F. (as I finally grew comfortable calling him) was most patient in providing me the realities of congregational ministry, personal spiritual disciplines and insights into life's hard lessons that perhaps I might learn from and not have to repeat. He was a pioneer in using radio as an outreach tool, and his office was a mini-recording studio (note the reel-to-reel recorders J.F. is working with in the picture above).

I expressed along the way my appreciation to J.F. for the investment he was making in my life, but I didn't have the opportunity to fully do that from a vantage point of several years removed. My friend and mentor died suddenly of a heart attack as he prepared his Sunday sermon, so our relationship ended abruptly. But the lessons he taught me have remained with me to this day.

I'll share more later about others who've made a difference in my life... along with their pictures. And I hope I'll cause you to recall, and thank if you haven't done so and are able to, those who have been used by God to make a difference in your life.

Spiritual Mentors...

2010-01-28T15:31:00.006-06:00

I've just gotten back from lunch with David Wray... and it was a rich feast (and I'm not talking about the turkey on wheat sandwich I had at Subway). David is a great friend, a spiritual hero and a respected mentor. He pours himself deeply into every conversation I have with him. Every Christ-follower needs a David Wray.

Now, the tricky part is that there's not enough of David to go around for all of us, so many of us are going to have to become "Davids" for others. And what that starts to look like is a self-less gift of ourselves in walking alongside others for a season. Spiritual counsel drawn from the lives of godly women and men who have spent considerable time on the Lord's anvil is a precious thing.

Do you have a spiritual mentor? If you don't, seek one out. Don't wait for them to ask you (they shouldn't and most likely wouldn't). You ask them.

Do you need to be some one's spiritual mentor? Pray for the Holy Spirit to make you accessible to that person in whose life God can use you. Let them approach you (see above), don't seek them out.

A final word of encouragement that keeps us "above reproach"... seek out a spiritual mentor who shares your gender.

When the Saints (Finally) Come Marching In...

2010-01-26T05:57:00.002-06:00

On September 17, 1967, my father, brother and I joined 80,876 other spectators in the bleachers of ancient Tulane Stadium to watch the New Orleans Saints play their first-ever regular season game. My dad had purchased us season tickets to seats in the stadium's south end zone for the Saints inaugural season.

The Saints began their life as a pro football team on an impressive note... running back John Gilliam returned the opening kickoff 94 yards for a touchdown. But the Saints went on to lose that game to the Los Angeles Rams. They wouldn't win their first game that year until November 5th when they beat the Philadelphia Eagles. The Saints finished that first year with a 3-11 record.

In addition to John Gilliam, some of the other players whom I recall from that first and only season we had Saints season tickets were Billy Kilmer who started as quarterback, Danny Abramowicz who played wide receiver, and big Doug Atkins at defensive end. On the wall of the bedroom I shared with my brother, I had their pictures (which I'd clipped from The Times Picayune) taped on the wall of the bedroom alongside my Saints pennant.

My dad's company transferred him that next year so we moved away from New Orleans, but I always felt a special kinship with the Saints. For a big chunk of their 40+ year franchise history the Saints were not very good, in fact... some years they were awful. However, they were the first professional football team I'd ever seen play in person, and I'd done so alongside my dad and brother... so it was like a first love that had jilted you, and that you never quite got over.

Now, 43 years after their first-ever season in Tulane Stadium, the Saints win the NFC championship in the Superdome and are headed to the Super Bowl. My father's been dead for several years, but I thought of him this past Sunday night as I watched ESPN replay game highlights... and appreciated all over again the great gift that those Saints season tickets had been to me and my brother.

And thank you, John Gilliam, wherever you are, for providing 80,879 of us with that electrifying kickoff return all those years ago... as it surely was a sign of things to come!

Lots of Questions, Not a Lot of Answers...

2010-01-25T05:21:00.003-06:00

Probably like you, I've experienced in a gut-wrenching, visceral way the pictures and stories that have poured out of earthquake stricken Haiti over the past week. Heartrending images of human suffering are difficult to slough off... even if you are thousands of miles away and living in a country that appears light-years removed in terms of economic and social structures. Haunting me are questions like these: "What can I do?" "What's the response that I, as a Christ-follower living in Abilene, Texas, can make in the middle of this mind-boggling morass of pain and suffering?"

Then last night about 6:45 p.m. there's a knock at my front door. A young black man in dirty clothes, but with an orange tie carefully knotted around his green knit shirt, is standing on my porch. As I flip on the light and open the door I'm thinking, "What in the world is this guy doing knocking on doors in my neighborhood after dark?!"

Shaking my hand and maintaining eye contact, the young man launches into his spiel... he's out to improve his leaderships skills and his means of doing so is selling magazine subscriptions... at which point he thrusts a wrinkled sheet of the periodicals he can make available to me for purchase. I glance at the sheet and don't recognize a single magazine on the list.

His spiel finished, the young man casts me a plaintive glance as if to acknowledge that there isn't a single publication on his sheet worth spending one's money on. I smile and tell him that I appreciate his leadership skills, but I'm not in need of any more magazines. He shakes his head indicating he understands, and then sticks out his hand for a parting handshake.

As I take his hand, my nostrils are greeted by the odor of the sweat and grime that have accumulated on him as he's pounded the pavement this day. Gripping my hand, the young man says, "I sure would appreciate a prayer on my behalf... it's hard out here." And I prayed over him.

Turning, he steps off my porch into the evening's deepening darkness. And I thought: "What can I do?" "What's the response that I, as a Christ-follower living in Abilene, Texas, can make in the middle of this mind-boggling morass of pain and suffering?"

Should I empty my pockets, closets and pantry?

Should I sell all that I possess and give it to the poor?

I don't have answers, but I'm trusting that answers will come... and that there will be benefit in the struggle to find those answers.

Counterfeit Gods...

2010-01-21T05:01:00.006-06:00

I've just finished Timothy Keller's book Counterfeit Gods. Great book... I recommend you read it.

I started reading Keller's book with my imagined image of Old Testament idols in my mind's eye. I'm picturing people bowing down to something that looks like those massive Easter Island statues. And your response, if it's similar to mine, would be: "Those misguided, foolish Old Testament people!" But aren't we just more sophisticated idolaters? And we're no less misguided or foolish. I believe that idolatry remains a significant spiritual problem (maybe that's why it's the first commandment of ten) for those of us who live in the year 2010.

In the beginning, God created us in His image. We've been creating Him in our image ever since. Instead of worshiping the Creator, we settle for something less. We create substitute, counterfeit gods (that's with a small g). And here's the insidious way these idols become idols. Most idols are good things, but those good things become bad things when we position them ahead of God in our lives. Instead of being the the great I AM, God become a means to an end. We want these idols more than we want God.

So how do we identify an idol? I'd suggest four idol identifiers (feel free to add others to the list):

1) What consumes your thoughts? Your daydreams are idol clues. If it's something you think about more than God then it may be an idol.

2) What bad habits do you struggle with? Your addictions are idol clues. An idol is something you cannot control. It controls you.

3) What do you spend too much money on? Your spending habits are idol clues. Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

4) What produces your strongest emotions? Your intense emotions are idol clues. If you want to identify an idol, all you have to do is identify your emotional attachments.

Identifying an idol requires a willingness to be brutally honest with ourselves about ourselves. If anything becomes more fundamental to our happiness, meaning in life, and identity... then it is an idol. And the only way to free ourselves from the destructive influence of counterfeit gods is to turn back to the true One.

The Church: A Supernatural Community...

2010-01-19T05:53:00.009-06:00

I grew up in a faith tradition that was highly individualistic. We used the word "personal" a great deal: personal evangelism, personal relationships with Christ, personal devotions, etc. We enjoyed "fellowship," but we didn't talk much about the power of Christian community and how it could change individual lives and the world. This idea of the church being a people who live together like the Kingdom of God was "already here in its fullness" was not something that was often spoken about.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer in his book Life Together argued that a community, rather than an isolated individual, added strength and objectivity to preaching the Word. Additionally, Bonhoeffer claimed the Christian life can never be lived in the abstract. The expression of a believer's faith itself called for community living and sensitivity to one another.

This just happens to be the way that God goes about making a Kingdom... pulling all sorts and conditions of people together and then patiently and graciously making something of us.

The church is not a natural community composed of people with common interests; it is a supernatural community. And the super in that word doesn't mean it exceeds our expectations; it is other than our expectations, and much of the other is invisible to us as yet.

The Space Between Stimulus And Response...

2010-01-18T05:46:00.005-06:00

Michael Hyatt recently posted some great thoughts drawn from a quote Viktor Frankl made famous about the space between stimulus and response. Here's what Michael had to say:

In his bestselling book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, author Stephen Covey talks about the space that exists between the stimulus and the response. In that space is the power to choose.

This space is like a giant pause button. We don’t have to react to every stimulus. Instead, we can pause, reflect, and chose our response. This is precisely what makes us human.

Unfortunately, I have not always taken advantage of this space. In the 1990s, I owned a literary agency with my business partner. One day, out of the blue, one of our clients sent my partner a scathing letter. It contained several inaccuracies and false accusations. I was furious and took up an offense.

I spent the next twenty-four hours writing and re-writing a letter to the client, defending my friend and partner. I thought I was in a better position to uphold his honor than he was.

The letter was brilliant. Or so I thought. It read like a legal brief. I took every accusation and systematically dismantled it. I wrote fourteen pages, proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that the client’s claims were baseless and without merit.

I then over-nighted the letter to the client, convinced that I had proven my case. I was sure he would call with an apology.

Almost fifteen years later, I am still waiting.

The client never responded. He didn’t acknowledge the letter. He didn’t respond to it. He just ignored it. I eventually came to the conclusion that writing long, angry letters is not a very productive exercise.

In the space between the stimulus and the response, I had not chosen well. I had simply reacted, like a dog who sees a squirrel and automatically gives chase.

But that experience didn’t keep me from firing off angry emails from time-to-time. While I had learned from my previous experience, I had not learned as much as I should have. As a result, I have continued to send blistering messages from time to time. Inevitably, I have always regretted it.

Therefore, next time I get frustrated or angry:

1) I will pause before responding. I will remember that there is a space between the stimulus and the response. That space is my opportunity to chose the wise, mature thing. I want to handle situations in a way that I don’t regret later. To quote James, I want to be "swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath." (James 1:27 NKJV)

2) I will give myself time to cool down. It is amazing how different things look when you get a little perspective. I rarely need to respond immediately, and 8–24 hours later, things almost always look different. Therefore, I will take a deep breath and reflect.

3) I will not write anything in anger. This includes Twitter posts, Facebook messages, emails, and letters. If I am angry with someone, I will confront them personally, preferably in person. If that is not possible, I will call them. Launching angry salvos from the safety of my office may make me feel courageous. But it is not. It is cowardly and foolish. It does not accomplish anything good.

As leaders and Christians, we need to set a higher standard—myself included. I need to see the space between the stimulus and the response as my opportunity to make a better choice. With God’s help, I will.

What about you? How are you handling the space between the stimulus and the response?

Haiti...

2010-01-14T15:19:00.006-06:00

- There are 5 people in my family.

- There are 13 people on our staff team at SoHills.

- There are about 30 people who live on my block on Amarillo Street.

- There are around 2,000 people in my church family at SoHills.

- There are about 4,800 people at ACU where my youngest daughter, Caroline, attends.

- There are seats for 15,000 people at ABI's Shotwell Stadium.

And if you added them all up, they would still fall far short of the number of people who died in the recent earthquake in Haiti.

It most likely will prove impossible to determine the total number of lives lost, but some estimates put the number of deaths at 50,000 – 100,000. And there might be more than a million people homeless or injured.

So today and tomorrow, link to Compassion International or a different charity raising funds to support the relief efforts in Haiti and make a donation.

And above all, pray for the people of Haiti.

Am I Willing...

2010-01-13T13:31:00.007-06:00

Pride is a never-ending battle for me. Just when I think I've wrestled pride to the ground, it's back on top of me and grabbing me by the throat. I'm convinced pride robs many a Christian of their example... and many a leader of their effectiveness.

Pete Wilson posted some challenging, convicting thoughts regarding pride... and then posed the following three questions. Wrestle with Pete's questions, and then join me in praying for God to purge us of the pride that prevents us from being the Kingdom servants we're called to be.

1) Am I willing to allow another person to do what I think I must do?

2) Am I willing to do what I am doing, even if no one else knows I am doing it?

3) Am I willing to let God use me for a season, and then be okay with Him later for putting my work into the hands of another?

Take A Seat...

2010-01-12T16:46:00.006-06:00

"Do not sit down in a place of honor." Luke 14:8

Everything within us wants to be honored. (I'm pointing at myself as I type these words.) But we don't get honor by seeking it. We get honor by giving honor. People who try to impress don't impress. You know what's really impressive? Someone who isn't trying to impress at all. Nothing is more endearing than good old-fashioned humility. Humility doesn't seek honor. It gives honor.

I love Jesus' teachings because they are so counter-cultural.

- We want to be consulted.

- We want to be preferred.

- We want the seat of honor.

But Jesus tells us to "go and sit in the lowest place." In other words, take a position of humility. Don't seek honor. Let it seek you. How? Look for opportunities to allow others to be honored and esteemed ahead of you... in order that you would be a holy as Jesus wants you to be.

You Have No Events Scheduled Today...

2010-01-11T05:34:00.005-06:00

Every morning in my Gmail in-box I receive a Google calendar update containing my schedule for the day. With few exceptions over the recent Christmas holidays, I would find the email contained this message: "You Have No Events Scheduled Today." Now, I don’t know about you, but this is not a typical message in my life's in-box. It is, however, becoming more and more of a welcome one.

This past week my ministerial team mates and I participated in an ACU intense course on Christian Spiritual Formation. Repeatedly throughout the week we read about Jesus going away to a quiet place to be alone and the importance Scripture places on keeping a regular Sabbath. When I experience what happens in my soul when I have "no events scheduled today" I become more fully aware that regular times of silence and solitude are disciplines I must cultivate if I want to be spiritually healthy.

So, what am I going to do about my spiritual health in 2010? Here is a short list of things I am going to work toward in relation to growing in spiritual disciplines:

- A weekly day away to reflect, pray and recalibrate

- A daily practice of quietly listening to the Spirit who lives in me

- A daily reading in the Gospels so that I might grow in my imitation of Jesus

I realize these aren’t mind boggling objectives, but I am confident they will prove most helpful to me. Unfortunately I all too often miss the time for my soul because my daily/weekly schedule has far too many events that don’t allow the space for the still small voice of God to say what needs to be said.

So, what about you? Do you have intentional time in your schedule for solitude and silence... or are you "too busy" for that? Do you need to schedule time for "no events scheduled for today"? What is your plan in 2010 for growing more into the likeness and example of Jesus?

"Be still and know that I am God…" Psalm 46:10

Will Return Soon...

2010-01-05T20:23:00.005-06:00

My SoHills' ministerial team mates and I are in the midst of an "intensive course" on Christian Spiritual Formation this week at ACU. (These used to be called "short courses" but the accrediting powers-that-be prefer the terminology "intensive course.")

Having taken some time off from consistent blogging over the recent Christmas holidays, and now during this intensive course... I plan to resume posting on a somewhat regular basis next week.

Thou Shalt Offend Pharisees...

2010-01-04T05:42:00.003-06:00

Mark Batterson posted these thoughts recently. I felt Mark's words were worth repeating.

I have a mantra: Thou shalt offend pharisees.

Isn't that the example Jesus set? He didn't have the time of day for self-righteousness. Seems like he hated nothing more. The Pharisees turned everything into an argument. They found something wrong with everything... even miracles. And they were all about image. They looked totally righteous on the outside. They said the right things. They did the right things. But Jesus called them whitewashed tombs.

Abraham Lincoln said, "You can please all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, but you can't please all the people all the time."

So good. So true.

So here's the question: "Who are you offending?"

Most of us are far more concerned about offending pharisees than offending sinners. But is that the example Jesus set? He didn't offend prostitutes or tax collectors. He shared meals with them. He restored their dignity. But he wasn't afraid to call a pharisee a pharisee.

Having said that let me say this: Make sure you have people in your lives that can speak the truth in love. You need accountability. Why? Because no one is above reproach or above rebuke. So make sure you listen to the voice of the prophet. But don't listen to the self-righteousness pharisee. Don't dialogue with them. Don't listen to them. Don't give them the time of day. Why? Because Jesus didn't.

What Bothers Me About SoHills...

2009-12-29T09:05:00.002-06:00

I’m biased.

I love the church at SoHills. And yet, there is something that bothers me.

Let me take you back a few Sundays and see if I can explain. It was Sunday, December 20, and we were at the Civic Center for our Community Christmas Celebration. The singing was incredible. Phil’s message was powerful. The gift presentation of "Welcome" mats to our Habitat family was touching.

As I walked out of the Civic Center that morning I heard wonderfully encouraging comments and some powerful stories about what God is doing in the lives of our SoHills church family and the lives of our friends.

And then it happened.

As I drove away from the Civic Center on that Sunday so excited about the day, I saw this:

I saw our city... Abilene. And I was reminded of a sobering truth. As excited as I was over what had happened that Sunday, MOST of Abilene had no clue. MOST of Abilene was still no closer to a growing relationship with Jesus than when the day began.

This bothered me. It bothered me so much that I've spent the last couple of weeks with a gnawing feeling in my gut. But as the days progressed and a New Year draws near, I thought, I shouldn’t keep this quiet. I want this to bother you too.

It bothers me that there are still more unchurched people than ever before living less than a mile from the front door of the SoHills church building. This has bothered me so much that I have spent a lot of time thinking about what to do. And I think I have an idea that might be worth exploring. Granted, it’s not the most original or creative idea, but it actually might be the best one to pursue... at least at first. Okay, here it is:

I want us as a church to begin 2010 with prayer and fasting. Now, before you mutter, click and leave this page... stay with me for a moment.

It’s my experience that, generally speaking, many Christians aren’t investing in unbelievers. If we’re not careful, we will drift into holy huddles of believers and isolate ourselves. Maybe we just don’t know how to bridge the gap and begin a conversation about Jesus. So we immerse ourselves in our daily lives and soon we aren’t spending time with anyone who isn’t already a follower of Jesus. I just don’t want us to drift into that danger zone. After all, one of the reasons SoHills church exists is as a resource for you to use to reach those who are far from God.

The good news is that our church continues to grow. The bad news is that the number of the unchurched in Abilene is growing faster. This bothers me.

But what if that trend could change in 2010? What if each of us prayed and developed a Kingdom of God ache for at least one person in our circles of influence? What if we prayed and fasted, becoming more passionate for our community to know Jesus than ever before? What might happen?

Frankly, I don’t know what would happen. But I do know that I would like to find out.

Okay, that’s all. Thanks for listening. But until our city hears the great news about Jesus, and sees it lived out in us, I will remain bothered.

I hope you will too.

Happy New Year!

The Best-Ever Present...

2009-12-19T05:10:00.004-06:00

What was your all-time, favorite, best-ever Christmas present? I'm recalling that for me it was the Christmas I got a new bike. There was quite a bit of snow outside, but I remember that my brother and I put our coats and boots on (over our pajamas) and went riding our new bikes around the neighborhood.

What If Target Operated Like a Church...

2009-12-16T20:20:00.008-06:00

I found this recent post by Tony Morgan to be both funny and insightful.

What if Target operated like a church?

- Instead of having men’s and women’s clothing departments, they would be called clever names like Impact and Embrace that are completely meaningless to new shoppers.

- Each department in the store would have its own logo to go with their clever name. And, of course, all those logos would be different than the logo on the front of the store.

- The workers in each department would all have their own t-shirts and flyers to promote what’s available in their departments. The youth clothing department would, of course, have the best flyers.

- You wouldn’t actually be able to buy anything from the website, but each department would have its own page explaining why they are such a great department and the the information would be several months out-of-date.

- If you are in the shoe department and have a question about flashlights, the shoe department employee has no idea how to help you because it doesn’t have anything to do with shoes.

- Shoppers would be able to start their own departments so that they can buy the items that they want to buy. Don’t worry… that means there will certainly be a clothing department for singles.

- Shoppers would also be able to appoint their own store managers and then serve on committees to tell the store managers what to do.

- The store would only be open one day a week between 9:00 a.m. and noon and on the first Wednesday evening of every month.

Hope this makes you laugh. And, maybe it also challenges some preconceived notions. After all, churches are sort of notorious for worshiping methods and traditions whether or not they actually produce results.

What would you add to the list?

Hand of God...

2009-12-10T08:17:00.006-06:00

I think Michelangelo would be pleased...

A Special Party...

2009-12-09T05:38:00.005-06:00

Susan and I had two Christmas parties to attend last night. Both parties were delightful, and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves at each. But we had one more party to attend last night... an 18th birthday party.

The birthday party was for Monique (that's her on the left in the picture above). Susan and I have gotten to know Monique at our local Subway... she makes our sandwiches. We found out a couple of weeks ago that Monique had a birthday coming up soon--her 18th. Monique also let us know, with no display of personal pity, that she hadn't had a birthday party or birthday cake since she was 6 years old. Suffice it to say Monique has had a rough life.

My sweet wife decided then and there that we would have an 18th birthday party, with cake, for Monique. And we did. Last night, just before closing... and with no one else in the store but her kind manager, Stacie, we sung "Happy Birthday!" to Monique and presented her with a cake that had her name written across it in big red frosting letters.

Monique was smiling as we left the store. It was a holy night.

Conwell's Merry Christmas Card...

2009-12-08T05:22:00.004-06:00

Here's the 2009 Conwell Christmas card... designed by my most talented eldest daughter, Katie Lea. (I'm the one in the orange Cons.)

A Powerful Prayer...

2009-12-07T05:46:00.003-06:00

I recently came across the following prayer by Charles de Foucauld. These words spoke deeply to my heart. I have commited to pray this prayer at least once a week.

Deliver me, Jesus from the desire to be praised,

honored, glorified, preferred, consulted, or approved.

Deliver me, Jesus, from the fear of being humiliated,

criticized, forgotten, ridiculed, maltreated, and

from the fear of what others will think.

O Jesus, give me the grace to desire: that others

would be loved and esteemed ahead of me,

that in the eyes of the world they would increase

while I decrease, and praised while I pass by

unnoticed; that others would be preferred in

all situations; that others would become more

than myself — in order that I would be as holy

as You want me to be. — Charles de Foucauld

The Muppets Cover Queen...

2009-12-05T05:42:00.001-06:00

Here's an interesting video in which the Muppets offer up their rendition of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody."

Sometime true greatness is hard to watch.

Your Work Space...

2009-12-04T05:06:00.003-06:00

What does your work space in your home, office or studio look like? And how does your work space reflect your personality... and contribute to your creativity?

Church Math...

2009-12-02T11:14:00.005-06:00

Tony Morgan's recent post on "church math" got my attention. I'm not a math major, but my experience in church-world validates Tony's equations.

more meetings = less ministry

unclear vision = packed ministry calendar

packed ministry calendar = volunteer burnout

more announcements = less ministry engagement

more ministries = more announcements

fewer people inviting friends = smaller crowds

lack of added value = fewer people inviting friends

fewer constraints = less creativity

same methods = same results

The Right People...

2009-12-02T10:49:00.006-06:00

I found Craig Groeschel's recent post to be insightful reading as to the "right people" from whom to gain constructive feedback.

Asking the right questions is helpful to gaining valuable feedback. It's also important to direct the right questions to the right people.

When it comes to feedback, not all people are equal. Two groups that shouldn't always be trusted include:

- Your greatest critics.
- Your greatest fans.

These groups shouldn't be ignored. You can occasionally learn a lot from your critics or your fans. But, generally speaking, your critics will be harder on you without understanding your full context and your fans will overlook ways to help you improve.

If you are a church leader or a leader in another context, you might be more challenged than you realize to find the right people. When I ask for feedback from my staff (or even church members), they might be slightly intimidated and hesitate to tell me the truth.

Developing a trusted group that can be objective is invaluable.

I've searched for constructive feedback from hundreds of people over the years, and have found a group of individuals who understand the importance of truthful and helpful feedback.

These people weren't necessarily born with this gift. We have actually developed a relationship and trust that draws out feedback. They see it as a part of their ministry and I see it as a helpful gift.

Why?...

2009-12-01T13:47:00.007-06:00

I've spent the past few days wrestling with God over a number of questions that dead-end me at "Why...?"

In the midst of my struggle, I came across this quote: "Mystery is not the absence of meaning, but the presence of more meaning than we can comprehend." - Dennis Covington, Salvation On Sand Mountain.