Please, Don't Come To My Church...

I found the following post by Nicholas Gray to be thought provoking. I'd be interested in hearing your reaction to his request: "Please, don't come to my church."

If I had it my way I would do away with outreach events. I would get rid of every event we hold at our church building that is geared towards bringing non-Christians to our church building. Let me explain.

Non-Christians are non-Christians for a reason, and they don't come to church for a reason. Ninety-nine percent of everyone here in America has been to a church, has been invited to a church, or has been witnessed to... and there are still those who want nothing to do with the church.

Why do we think that inviting them to a "Murder Mystery Night" will get them to change their mind? I'll tell you why, we want it on our turf, we want to call the shots.

Okay, let me rephrase my opening comment, I would get rid of them until we are doing our job by going to them first. We like being comfortable, we don't like confrontations, and boy to do we hate not being in control. This is because we are human (and Americans), the moment something happens that is out of our control we run away, we hide in the familiar. That is why the church loves holding bake sales and pot luck dinners, we are in control and comfortable, nothing is unexpected.

I think we have forgotten how important communication is. People don't like to be talked at, they like to discuss, ask questions, and unfortunately we don't give that type of atmosphere at the church. There is a preconceived notion among non-Christians that when they are at church they will be talked at. We don't give them a whole lot of evidence the other way either. If we go to them, they are comfortable, they are in control. In that situation, they can ask questions and even leave if they want to.

I don't want to beat a dead horse here but I need to say it, we are called to GO. Paul is a perfect example of this. You read throughout the book of Acts of Paul going into other people's territory. He was never in control. The first thing he did in each city was visit the synagogue and talk with them. He would talk for days, months, even years. He was run out of towns by angry mobs, he met them on their turf no matter how hard or uncomfortable it was. He never sent out fliers for people to come to his place, he went to them.

Now that being said, outreach events have a time and place. Outreach events are great for those who are already looking into churches, who already have there mind in that direction. They will get something out of that. So, I am not saying never hold a pancake breakfast ever again, just be sure you are going as well.

God Will Keep At It...

I was having lunch the other day with Matt at our favorite place to grab a bite and have a deep conversation: Sharky's. As we ate and talked, a mentally challenged young man made his way to our table... numerous times.

I knew the young man, so he just nodded and smiled at me each time he came to our table.

But not knowing Matt, the young man introduced himself and asked Matt's name each time he visited our table. And after each introduction, he would stick out his hand in order to gain a handshake from Matt.

This happened four times over the course of an hour. And each time Matt looked the young man in the eye, smiled, introduced himself, and shook hands.

No sarcastic comments, no put-downs, no "go away, kid, you're bothering me"... just kindness. My friend Matt graciously extended kindness and respect.

Near the end of our lunch, Matt commented to me that he struggled at times with feelings that he wasn't a great example for Jesus. He was concerned if his life expressed that he was a follower of Jesus.

I smiled at Matt... and let him know that four times over the past hour he had radiated the love, example and compassion of Jesus to me by the way he responded to the young man who repeatedly visited our table.

And what struck me me was that Matt hadn't noticed the grace and kindness that he had extended... but he had zeroed in on what he perceived to be his shortcomings in living for Jesus.

Another God lesson learned at Sharky's... even when we think we're not getting it, God through His Spirit reveals that He is at work in us. And that our nature can and does become more like the nature of Jesus... even though we may not realize that change is, and continues, taking place in our lives.

Thanks, Matt, for showing me Jesus.

There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears. Philippians 1:6, The Message

Taking A Break...

Over my years in ministry, I've occasionally heard ministers indicate they are too busy to take much time off. This has both concerned and perplexed me... as I fear for the potential harm these ministers may be doing to themselves, their families and their churches as a result of this sense that they just can't take a break.

Here is a glimpse at a list I'm compiling of the significant benefits that flow to ministers, their families, and the churches they serve, by their taking time off.

- Two consecutive weekends off is ten times better than just one weekend off.
- Time off makes “time on” much more effective.
- Ministry is "people intensive." Emotional tanks need refilling, or burnout becomes a real issue.
- Even if I don’t feel like I need to be off, my wife needs me to take off in order that I might focus completely on her.
- Most people are supportive when you take care of yourself.
- Staying in town when you’re off doesn't feel like being off. (Someone always needs something.)
- Speaking somewhere besides your church is not a relaxing weekend off.
- Going to church somewhere else when you're vacationing is a huge blessing.
- Churches that provide sabbaticals to their ministers are making a substantial statement of, and huge investment in, their concern for the minister's health and well-being.

What can you add to this list as to the advantages of taking time off? What works for you?

Vacation Reading & Watching...

I'm packing my suitcase for our vacation (we purchased our tickets prior to June 14, thus avoiding American's $15 per checked bag/each way surcharge)... and I'm lining the bottom of my bag with the following:

(DVD's)
Lost- Season 3
Martian Child
Across the Universe
Deep Water
In The Shadow of the Moon

(Books... I usually take a break from ministry related reading on vacation)
A Voyage Long and Strange
What Got You Here Won't Get You There
Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God
Old Glory: A Voyage Down the Mississippi
Lottery
Buying In

I'm afraid I won't be able to fit them into my suitcase... but what books have you read recently that you'd recommend to me?

Life After Church...

I spent a couple of hours on Sunday afternoon reading the first few chapters of a book by Brian Sanders titled Life After Church: God's Call to Disillusioned Christians. While not agreeing with all that Brian had to say in the chapters I read, I was significantly challenged by a great deal of what he shared. I'd encourage you to get a copy of the book... as I'd like to get your take on it.

Here's an excerpt from the introduction, in which Brian describes a portion of his personal spiritual odyssey:

I still needed to "find a church." So I did. And I liked it. But the more seriously I took the Bible, the more I saw in Scripture a very certain call to proclaim a gospel of transformation, a revolutionary gospel, the more I saw what I was doing on Sunday mornings as, well, unrevolutionary.

We simply were not impacting anyone by sequestering ourselves in a building and preaching to each other truths we all already believed. There were parts I still liked: seeing my friends, the music, listening to the Word. But I began to wonder about the nature of church, and I began to see church as extraneous to ministry.

Churches Are Strange...

One of the books I'm currently reading is Challenging The Church Monster by Douglas Bixby. Here is an insightful post from Bixby's blog that points to a central theme of his book:

One of the things I like to say to other ministers going through difficult times is that “churches are strange.” Some times it is hard to understand why things happen the way they happen in our churches. And I am convinced that it is not usually bad people, but rather bad structure that is at fault.

Many of our churches have complicated systems that are hard to understand. This can lead pastors into complicated situations that are hard to handle.

Many times the people in these situations (including the pastor) are set up for disaster. Simplifying our church systems can help us to simplify some of these situations.

Our churches should not be filled with chaos and confusion. The system should allow us to deal with issues and each other in a straight forward manner. This is why my general advice is to simplify.

Real Beauty...

I have a lovely wife and two lovely daughters. They all three possess a beauty that flows from who they are.

I regret that the message our culture sends to females is to strive for an unattainable, perfection in beauty that leaves many women convinced they cannot, and will not, ever measure up.

This well-done clip by the folks at Dove reveals the artificiality behind the myth of attaining beauty perfection... a myth that, as a youth minister, I saw crush the spirit of far too many adolescent females.